Parent Moments

had a few parent moments lately...

on monday, the girls and i were at the park when another mother pulled up and let her kids out of the car while she continued to sit in her car and smoke and listen to her ipod and ignore her children.  the boy (about 7? seemed roughly same age as the kids in my primary class at church)  was running around without a shirt on, and the girl (maybe 10?) was wearing shorts so small i could see her underwear.  the boy was singing over and over something disgustingly sexually explicit... i don't even want to repeat it.  i've never heard the song, and i never want to.  but he kept saying something about legs, kissing, and wetting the bed... ugh.  it was so gross!!!

this same boy was also horribly rude to his sister and called her names i won't repeat.  and on one occasion she tried to play a game with him-- who can swing higher on the swings-- and he flat out told her that because she was a girl it didn't matter what she did because she was ugly.  WHAT THE?!?!?! (for a more eloquent expression of my feeling on what he said, go check out http://www.beautyredefined.net/)

and just when i thought i could have any more disdain for this child who had NO RESPECT for women... he calls for my little munchkin to play with him on a pirate ship structure on the playground.  i don't stop her, but i do watch very carefully because i do NOT trust this kid or his mother who isn't paying any attention to her kids at all.   he takes her to the top of the ship and says, "hey, watch me. Don't do this!" and then shows my little 2 1/2 year old munchkin how to jump down this hole in the top of the structure into the bottom (about a 4-5 foot drop, and mind you, this drop-hole is hidden inside a smaller compartment that munchkin has never shown interest in, thankfully!  i didn't even know this hole existed until monday. i guess there used to be a fireman's pole from the top to the bottom, but it's missing now).  then from the bottom of the ship,  the boy yells, "you can't get me! Come and try to get me, %*##&!"
i had HAD IT!  I quickly put papoose back in the stroller, ran up this little playground to stop my munchkin just as she was about to crawl into this compartment and fall down the hole, and told her to NEVER go in there because I don't want her to get hurt.
perhaps i should have just left it at that... perhaps mamma bear was so frustrated at this boy's complete lack of respect for women or morals or safety that i lost it... but i screamed at someone else's child.  yes... i did.  i screamed at someone else's child, "Do NOT ever do that to my child again!  you do NOT show a small child how to do something that they shouldn't do. EVER!" at that moment, i guess the boy's mother wasn't ignoring her kids, because she got out of her car immediately and demanded to know why i was yelling at her kids. In a still outraged and raised voice, i explained what i had seen and said, "i don't appreciate what your son just taught my daughter because it could get her seriously hurt. i think you'd do the same for your own child in my postion."  and then she told her kids to get in the car and it was time to leave.

on another note-- today, i was listening and dancing to the wii game Just Dance 3 with my munchkin, and suddenly was hit with how... trashy and perverse the lyrics were in those songs.  we're getting rid of it.  we don't need sexually explicit "entertainment" in our home.  apparently my kids can get enough of that just going to the park...

( a less mature part of me congratulated myself on not criticizing this boy or his mother's morals to their face, and just sticking to the "safety issue"... but that's not the point i'm realizing right now... ugh... i even want to call myself a judgemental jerk right now; i sound like a self-righteous ninny. please don't judge me.  i know i shouldn't have yelled at someone else's kid.  i shouldn't have lost it on a complete stranger.  i feel terrible and am judging myself enough, so please.  i'm working on becoming a better person, and if i get the chance, i want to apologize to that mother.  i don't know what she's struggling with right now.  maybe she had a bad relationship with the kids' father, maybe she's trying to quit smoking, and the world's crashing in on her. maybe she stayed in her car for a moment's peace and some crazy self-righteous mother just slapped her in the face with what a terrible mom she already feels like.  i'm sorry other mother.  i shouldn't judge you, i'm sorry i did.  i pray that you have the strength to teach your kids the best you know how.)

what is it about being a mom that makes you hyper-aware/sensitive to things you believe 

are morally wrong? have any other moms had a similar experience?

Munchkin and Jesus

Sometimes, my little munchkin astounds me.  She's quick witted, insightful, serious, and downright hilarious all at the same time.  Here's just a few quick stories out of my journal about my munchkin and Jesus...

8/24/2012
today, while doing dishes, i noticed Munchkin was no longer in the living room.  I call for her and she yells back, "I'm here!" (I find her little voice is coming from in mom and dad's room).  I walk in to find her sitting up in bed, leaning casually back against the pillows (which are pilled on the bed all nicely because a potential renter is coming to see the apartment this afternoon) and she's completely engrossed in a book-- Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmadge.  I ask her, "whatcha doing, munchkin?"
she non-nonchalantly answers, "reading about Jesus," much in the manner you might expect an old man to answer had you just interrupted him reading the morning paper.

out of the mouth of babes!  my 2 year old has started to tackle that book and i haven't even ventured to try it yet.  it intimidates me... and now my toddler does, too.

i couldn't snap a picture soon enough...
as soon as she noticed what i was doing, she set the book down and smiled :-)
what a little ham!

8/19/12
while reading fro m our "picture scriptures" tonight, munchkin had her toy spatula with her. at one point she used the spatula to scoop up a spoonful of the picture of Jesus, and then said, "Yum! Good Jesus!"

yes, Jesus is good... but I'm not sure that's a judgement on how He tastes.

08/2012 (don't remember the exact day...)
munchkin picked up her toy hockey net and proceeded to carry it around the room on her shoulders (much like Christ is depicted as carrying the cross before the crucifixion).  we asked her what she was doing and she answered, "I'm Jesus!"

is that sacrilegious? should we be concerned about early-onset schizophrenia???

House Hunting

Brad's loving his job, and we're all loving the area.  Our apartment lease ends the last day of October. So we decided we make things here more permanent. We started looking at homes online back in June.  Mostly I just looked at specs and pictures, did research on neighborhoods (crime rates, checking sex offender lists, school districts, tax rates, etc), and created an excel spreadsheet of all the info for each house that I wanted to see. (address, asking price, forclosure?, price we're willing to pay, estimated value, beds, baths, year built, amenities, pros, cons, work needed, a rating 1-4 based on what we thought before we saw the house in person and after, and the school district it was in).  I showed it to Brad to make sure we were on the same page for what we wanted.  Then near the end of July, we contacted our buyers agent to go look at the list of houses I compiled.

We went on a Saturday to look at 8 of the houses, but time ran out and we only saw 6.  Of those, we liked 3 (really, we kinda liked 2 and LOVED 1).  The agent ran comparable sales on those 3 and arranged for us to visit 8 more homes on the following Wednesday.  Of the houses we saw on Wednesday, we kinda liked 2.  The rest were a bust, though one of them- while a nightmare of wallpaper and architecture- did make us laugh A LOT! (about mid-way down the stairs to the basement was a little door... we opened it to find a little "half bath" the size of an airplane lavatory... it might have been smaller than an airplane lavatory. we about died laughing.)

When comparable sales came back, of the 4 we kinda liked, the asking price was way inflated.  We knew it would be a fight to get a loan that the sellers would accept and the bank would approve. But on our dream house, the house we LOVED.... the asking price was below comparable sales without even considering the  amenities-- like the fully applianced kitchen!  Only drawback was the asking price was at the very top end of our price range... We decided to put in an aggressive and low offer since no one else had put in an offer yet and it had been on the market for awhile (though we both agreed we'd be willing to pay asking price if it came down to it, since it was still such a great investment at asking price).  The next morning we got a call that someone else put in an offer that morning, so we had to give our best and final offer.  UGH! We decided to do asking price-- a price that really was our best offer, but if it didn't get accepted, we could walk away knowing it was our best offer with no regrets.

We got a call the next morning saying-- WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!

I was stunned.  I spent the next 24 hours riding an emotional roller coaster... rapidly shifting from, "Oh my goodness! We are getting our dream house! YAY!" to "What?! We're getting a house?! Are we crazy?  Will I be able to keep it clean? Is this really the house we want? Did we just make a mistake?!"  But after lots of prayer and re-writing our budget and writing a cleaning schedule, we're both super excited and happy!

This house is perfect for us- now and for the next 30+ years.  I told Brad after we saw it the first time-- I could see us growing old in this house. raising our kids here. Inviting friends over; holding youth activities here (since Brad is the Young Men's President in our ward). Our kids bringing their friends over after school and hanging out in the basement.  Our kids coming home for the holidays and bringing grandkids to visit. We both want to have a house that can be the "safe house" for our kids and their friends, and this house could be just that. We're so happy that we could find a house that perfectly fits our family and our long-term family goals so early in life.  We feel incredibly blessed!

I'm going to wait to post pictures until after closing (which we expect to be sometime in early to mid October). And once we get moved in and mostly unpacked, we'll throw a house warming party! :-)

PS-- we're looking for moving boxes! All donations accepted. :-)
PPS-- we will accept offers to help clean (both the apartment we are moving out of, and the house we're moving into-- there's some spiders that need to be evicted from the basement before we move in since the house has been empty for awhile.)

Ok, I'l give you one picture-- it's of the front-outside of the house from the website we first saw it posted on.

I am so ridiculously excited!

1 Month

Our Baby Ruthe is 5 weeks old!  Time is just flying, and she is growing like a weed!

Stats
weight: 10 lbs. 2 oz
length: 21.5 inches
head circumference: 14 7/8inches

Milestones
Papoose can roll over!!! She started doing it at 3 weeks and 2 days old.  We thought it was a fluke, but she's kept doing it!  I've lost count of the number of times she has rolled over tummy to back.  She hasn't rolled from back to tummy yet, but trust me, she's trying!

She also loves to kick her legs wildly during tummy time, resulting in scooting across the floor by up to a couple feet and/or rotating around in a spot.  More than once I have left her in one room to go to another room, only to come back a few minutes later and she's rolled over, facing a different direction, and a foot or so from where I left her.

If she's moves this much as a newborn, I wonder what adventures she'll take me on once she learns to crawl and walk!

Rolling over is usually preceded by Papoose getting a little angry about being left on her tummy. :-(

Sleep habits
She's sleeping GREAT!  She goes to sleep between 9pm and 10pm usually.  A couple times she's kept us up til 11pm, but it's usually on a weekend, so no worries.  She'll wake up to eat once, usually between 3am and 5am, and then go right back to sleep until about 7am or 8am.  A few times, she has slept through the night, but I still wake up to pump milk those nights.  So I don't get any better sleep when she sleeps through the night, but hey-- I've got a 1 month old with incredible sleep habits.  I love it!

don't you just LOVE sleeping babies???

Sister Love

Munchkin adores her Baby Ruthe!  I love to see how much love and concern Munchkin has for Papoose.  When Papoose is sleeping, Munchkin will go to her bed and just watch her sleep for a few minutes and say, "Baby Ruthe sleeping.  Baby Ruthe pretty sleeping."

When Papoose is on the floor for tummy time, Munchkin will lay down next to her and insist that she have tummy time, too.  Munchkin also likes to show Papoose her toys.  Sometimes, Munchkin asks me to put Papoose in the stroller so she can take her for a walk, and Munchkin insists on pushing Baby Ruthe. I love that Munchkin wants to play with Papoose!

tummy time for both my babies

playing on the floor

sharing the dinosaurs

going for a walk... Papoose fits in the doll stroller!

Munchkin is a bit possessive of the blankets in the house... i've noticed she has started accumulating them in her room.  When Papoose is wrapped in a blanket, no matter what blanket, Munchkin tells us that it is her "blanken" and she wants it.  Most of the time we tell her that she needs to share that blankets, and everything is ok.  But if Munchkin is tired, we've been known to having minor crying fits about who's blanket it is.

Munchkin: "i love you, baby ruthe, but this is my blanket, so i'm taking it back while you sleep."

At bedtime after saying prayers, we do something like a family huddle cheer-- we all put hands in the middle and shout, "Love ya!" (it's something Brad did growing up, so we do it in our family, too).  From day 1, Munchkin has insisted that Baby Ruthe do "love-loves" also. And then she gives Papoose a hug a kiss, even if mommy is trying to feed Papoose at the moment, which makes things awkward. I must admit, that one of the greatest joys I have found as a mommy is seeing how much my girls love each other.  It just makes my heart all warm and fuzzy!

can you say, "awe!"

more kisses...

sweet-ness!

And before I mislead anyone into thinking our home is always picture perfect and peaceful... Proof that the Neeley house isn't always full of rainbows, sunshine, and smiles...

Big sister trying to make little sister be quiet... feel the love?

sometimes, Munchkin likes to "ruthe roll in blanken"... Papoose doesn't enjoy this game very much, yet.

Looks like typical sisters to me!

Munchkin and Papoose really are average siblings that argue, fight, tease, annoy, etc... but in the end, they love ever other so much!

No matter how much they bicker, they really love each other!

Interior Decorating

I've always wanted an interior decorator to help me make my home look pretty.  So when Baby Ruthe was born, I decided to finally hire one...

She is quite expensive though. 3 meals per day plus snacks, room and board for the next 16(+) years, LOTS of attention, clothes, hygiene maintenance, hugs and kisses and cuddle time, responsibility for her education and well-being physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, etc....

Here's some of her budding "portfolio" of work she has done for our home! (please forgive the sideways pics, I can't seem to fix them.)

the office: so much more efficient to gather toys in the office where mom works on stuff during the day instead of playing in her own room

Daddy always says, "out of sight, out of mind," and complains of not playing games often enough, so if he wants to play more games, they must be in plain sight-- in the middle of the hallway floor!

the bathroom was looking kind of plain, so our interior decorator added some art to the bathtub (using washable bathtub crayons, of course!)

after a busy day's work, the artist needs a break to watch "Elmo Street on the teebee"

I'm impressed with her talent!  As per our agreement, I try and give her a fresh slate to work with and practice her work each day... I feel like I've been slacking on my end of the deal lately.  Luckily, my family and friends are pretty forgiving.

Birth Story: The Ruthe Maedean Edition

Can I just begin by saying that I've never been so glad to be proven wrong about almost everything?!

Sunday morning, I woke up just like any other Sunday around 7am.  Used the bathroom and started taking a shower to get ready for church.  During the shower I started feeling a bit "crampy."  After the shower I asked Brad the time.  I started to notice that the "cramps" were coming kind of like waves and wanted to start timing them.  After getting dressed, putting on make-up, and doing my hair, I'd had 5 more waves of cramps, all consistently 3 minutes apart. I let Brad know that I was starting to time what "I think might be contractions" before he got in the shower while I started making breakfast and waking up Munchkin.

Shortly after 8am, Brad got picked up to go to his early morning church meetings.  He told me to call the dr and see if I really was having contractions and what I should do.  I told him I'd do that after giving Munchkin a bath and getting her ready for church.  By the time I called the dr, my "waves of cramps" happened at consistent 2 minute intervals and the dr wanted me to come to the hospital to get checked.  I called Brad and told him what the dr said, but that I think we could go to church first... I mean, it was the day BEFORE my due date.  I'd had 1 false alarm a few days before my due date with munchkin and had been sent home; so I wasn't convinced this was the real deal.  Besides, I wasn't having real contractions... I remembered those were the most horrible, painful, tear-inducing things ever when I was induced with munchkin. This was just some crampy feeling...

Well, Brad was waiting outside for me to pick him up when I got to the church.  Some dear friends of ours had also just arrived and we told them what was happening, so they insisted on taking Munchkin and her carseat "just in case."

We arrived at the hospital about 10am, the nurses were busy giving twin boys circumcisions and the dr was on the phone.  We just waited ... and waited... and waited.  The dr finally noticed us and took us to a room and left.  The nurse came in and asked who I was, I told her, and she didn't believe I was the one who'd called saying I was having contractions every 2 minutes.  But she agreed to check me anyway after I told her that on Thursday the dr had determined that I was "at 3cm but easily stretched to 4 or 5cm."  She asked if i had a guess where I was, I said maybe 4cm, if I'm lucky.

I was already 6cm!  I was shocked!!!  Needless to say, so were the nurses and dr.  The dr told me the next time he came in that he didn't believe I was in labor when i showed up. They also assured me that I was getting admitted; this wasn't a "false alarm". I just wanted to keep walking around and felt fine, but they insisted on keeping me in bed for at least an hour to do some monitoring. Baby Ruthe was having some slight deceleration in her heart rate after contractions, so I couldn't have intermittent monitoring, and I had to have an IV.  Bleh. After an hour of fluids and monitoring I was dilated to 7cm, and Ruthe's heart rate was stabilizing, so they let me get up and move around on the condition that I stay hooked up to the IV and external monitors (giving me about 3 sq. feet to roam in).

yummy orange Popsicle! dilated to about 6 or 7 cm

Brad and I played a game of canasta while I sat on a "birth ball", pausing during contractions so he could apply counter pressure to my lower back and I could focus on relaxing and breathing. By 1pm, I was at 8cm and my contractions were starting to feel more intense.  I asked the nurse if it was too late for the epidural... I knew 8-10cm was supposed to be the "hardest part of labor" and I was having vivid memories of the pain I felt when induced with Munchkin.  Even though the intense pressure and cramping I was feeling now was nothing compared to then, I was starting to get really scared that it would become like that after it was "too late."  Brad and the nurses were amazingly supportive and kept telling me how great I was doing and that they didn't think I needed one. Brad encouraged me to keep going, reminding me that I can do this contraction and that was all that mattered for the next 30 seconds.  He would also remind me that each wave of pressure was like a message from our sweet baby Ruthe that said, "I'm so excited to meet my mommy and daddy!" I crawled in bed at this point and, laying on my side, had to devote all my energy to staying relaxed and calm.  Brad never left my side.  He was a wonderful and supportive coach-- feeding me ice chips and popcicles, holding my hand, wiping my forehead, keeping me calm, applying counter pressure to my lower back.  Seriously, I have the best husband ever!

I stalled out at 8cm for a couple hours, which was really disappointing.  The nurse told us that the dr wanted to break my water, and asked if I was ok with that.  I said yes, but wanted to walk around some more and use the bathroom.  That's all it took to fully dilate, "except for a tiny bit on the right side" before the dr got there. I was feeling lots of pressure and wanted to start pushing.  He broke my water and told me to push when I was ready.  After 1 contraction, all I heard was "push! push! she's here!" So I pushed again and heard my baby's first squeals!

Ruthe Maedean Neeley
5/27/12
8 lbs. 3 oz, 19 inches

My first thoughts-- "wow! she's pretty chunky! how did I just do that?!"
The dr commented on how I was probably the "strongest pusher he's ever met"... Brad later explained to me that the dr wasn't telling me to "push," but rather "wait! don't push! stop pushing!" as he was trying to re-position Ruthe so I wouldn't tear... but I pushed so hard that I tore anyway and he couldn't stop me.  Oops! I'll need to work on that next time.

Happy mommy and "papoose"

It was an incredible birth experience.  I had to allow some things that I would have rather done without-- like the IV instead of just a heplock, and constant monitoring instead of intermittent, and more freedom to move around.  But overall, I feel like it was amazing! I felt amazing for hours after she was born; like I could go home right then.

I have to say I'm a huge fan of natural childbirth now.  Having been induced and gotten an epidural, and now having had a "natural birth", I can say I think natural childbirth is amazing.  I'd like to send out a quick "thank you" to a couple friends that inspired/convinced me to give it a shot-- Adele and Emily.  I read their blogs and birth stories (Emily actually made 3 posts but i only linked to the 1st one), and both recommended some books. (Thanks for sharing your stories, Adele and Emily!) I chose to read one of them, called Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method.  I highly recommend it for anyone interested in trying natural childbirth.  When I read it, I thought he sounded a bit hokie.  But I tried it.  And he was right. (There's classes, too, but I just read the book.) Much of the pain associated in childbirth can be alleviated if we can train our minds and bodies not to work against itself during labor.  It is tough-- it's called "labor" because it's hard-- but it doesn't need to be harder than nature intended to get the baby out.  It was tough, and it was painful, but it was also incredibly rewarding to essentially surrender my whole body to the natural process of birth. The difference between this birth and munchkin's is like night and day! I would do it all over again... but I'll wait a couple years.  ;-)

Super-Dad! and Best Husband Ever!

The Waiting Game

so... i never posted this, and it seems silly now, but i'll post it anyway.

Well, I'm over 39 weeks... so now it's just the waiting game.

I totally intended to have a "real" belly picture... but silly Ruthe came  too soon and I never took one.  So you'll have to make due with this picture from when I was 37 weeks and went to the zoo.  :-)

Just a few hours before she was born-- it's my HUGE belly picture!

She's due May 28th, and the drs will induce me at one week overdue, or June 4.  What's your guess when our sweet little girl will arrive? (ok, it's a bit late to ask this question...)

At my 38 week appointment, I saw the doctor and found out that I'm already 3cm dilated and 50% effaced.  I told the doctor that I knew it didn't mean anything about when labor would start because I was dilated to 4cm and 60% to 80% effaced for 3 weeks with munchkin (heck, I'm further behind than the first time!)... for once, the doctor told me, "You're right.  It doesn't really mean anything about when labor will start.  Except that you're that much further ahead when you do get induced if that's what needs to happen in 3 weeks."  Finally, a doctor who listened to me and trusted that I know MY body better than he does!  (If I have to be induced, I'm specifically going to ask to get induced on a day when this dr is on-call!) (or i really don't know my own body that well... I seriously thought I was going to get sent home for false labor that day...)

At my 39 week appointment, I was still 3cm, but "very soft and stretchy".  What's more awkward?  The dr telling me this WHILE checking me and saying, "I can even stretch you to 4... or 5cm."

COMING SOON!  The Birth Story of Ruthe Maedean Neeley.

Zoo Fun

 Last Saturday, we had an all-day family date.  SO MUCH FUN! (and lots of pictures!)

It started at 6am when we all woke up to head to Columbus, Ohio to visit the temple. We made it to the temple with no car sickness-- yay!  (Every time we've gone before, Naomi has gotten sick on the way there and we've had to pul over on the side of the road to clean her up.  But this time-- we were extra blessed!)

Columbus, Ohio Temple for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

As soon as we could see the temple (shortly before 9am), Naomi pointed excited to the temple and said, "Jesus house!"  I was so excited to know that she recognized the building for what it was.  We had never called it Jesus' house, we'd only referred to it as the temple, but she knew!  (Really, I think she confused Angle Moroni on the top of the temple with Jesus, and decided that if Jesus was on top of the house, it must be His.  We tried to explain that it was Angle Moroni, but she continued to point and say, "Jesus."   Either way, she knew it was the House of the Lord; and Brad and I are very proud of our smart munchkin!)

Brad caught a perfect profile shot of munchkin looking at the flowers

I went in first while Brad stayed outside with Naomi to explore the temple grounds.  Afterwards, I came out and switched with Brad so he could do some work while munchkin and I had lunch and walked around the temple.

Around 12:30pm we headed to the Columbus Zoo-- the rated #1 zoo in the country, mind you. We wanted to show munchkin lots of animals (and i was secretly hoping all the walking would help move me closer to getting Baby Ruthe Maedean here sooner-- it didn't work).  Munchkin fell asleep in the car on the drive from the temple to the zoo, so we let her keep sleeping after we got there for about 30 minutes.  It was hardly a nap at all for her since she normally naps for about 2 hours, but Brad and I were excited to show her the zoo and knew she could sleep after visiting the zoo.  So a 30-minute mini-nap it was...
and then a super exciting and exhausting trip around the zoo... (We were planning on staying til the zoo closed at 5pm, but we would end up leaving around 4pm because munchkin got too tired and cranky. Yeah, aren't we awesome parents?!)  :-(

she loved petting the goats

she had to pet a goat of every color...

this sweet goat, when munchkin started to "brush" her by sawing back and forth, just turned to look at her as though thinking, "you've never done this before have you?  ok, make it quick!"

it's a "BYU Kitty"!  

up close with a polar bear!

one of munchkin's favorites-- a snake!

taking a break from all the walking...

trying out a bench... she's upset that mommy and daddy won't sit down with her.

But it was totally worth it!  Munchkin had a blast seeing all the animals. And Brad and I had a blast watching her meet the animals.  We decided pretty early that we'd let her set the pace-- after all, we were there to let HER see the animals and wanted her to have fun.  We didn't want to be those parents dragging their whining kids around the zoo telling them to hurry up-- nobody has fun when that happens.  Well, munchkin pace is really REALLY slow... we only got to see about 1/4 of the zoo.  Luckily, we got a membership, so we can go back as much as we want for the next year and not pay anything extra!

resting her tired feet :-)

sometimes, we wondered if we actually came to the zoo to
try out everything she could sit on...

Relay for Life

Last weekend, our little family helped participate in Relay for Life!  It was such a fun experience, and I'm looking forward to doing it again next year.

A few months ago, a friend from church asked me to join her team for Relay for Life.  I said, sure... not really knowing what i was getting into.  So I went home and did some google-ing and found the website, http://www.relayforlife.org/index.  I browsed around, and eventually found my self crying.  Remembering so many loved ones who's lives have been touched my cancer.

So Friday evening on May 3, I find myself driving in the pouring rain to do Relay.  Brad's co-worker dropped him off after work, so I met up with Brad and the Relay team when I arrived.  We sat for about 15-20 minutes in the car waiting for the rain to let up, and it did.  It turned out to have lovely weather the rest of the weekend!  We talked with the team, mostly made up of family members of my friend Jessie.  I got to help with a cake walk fundraiser while there.  After the sun set, there was a Luminaria Ceremony-- a time to remember those who have been touched my cancer, light candles for those who have passed away, and walk a lap in their memory.  It was difficult to hear the speaker, so I missed a lot of it, but I was touched deeply by the memories of my loved ones.  It was an emotional time, but I was glad to have it.

Since I'm 8 months pregnant, we decided to go home for the night and sleep in my own bed... i mean, it's hard enough to get comfortable in my own bed.  Forget sleeping in a tent on the wet ground with a toddler.  NOT gonna happen!

The next morning was beautiful.  I didn't walk any laps the night before because my feet were super swollen, but I did walk about 5-6 on Saturday morning since the swelling went down a lot during the night.  It was great to talk to friends and spend time with family and friends.  Also, while walking, I noticed I was having about 2 mild contractions per lap... They were mild enough that I could keep walking at a good pace and talk without difficulty though most of them.  Continuing to walk made it feel more intense, but the second I stopped moving, everything relaxed. Darn, Braxton-Hicks contractions!

There was a closing "Duck Drop" raffle. We bought 4 duckies, but didn't win.  We did get to keep the duckies though, and that makes Naomi super happy!  She loves duckies.  Over all, it was lots of fun, and we look forward to participating again next year.  Hopefully, I won't be so huge and pregnant, and we can stay over-night for more fun events!

In Memory of

Great-Grandma and me when I was little.

My great-grandma, Francis Maedean Harkins passed away almost 8 years ago from cancer.  She's been on my mind extra lately since our little Ruthe Maedean will be named after her. I was very fortunate to spend the summer with her shortly before she passed away.  She was an incredible woman!  Strong, stubborn, kind, loving.  She had high expectations of us, and always made sure we knew that, and at the same time helped us realize we could meet those expectations. A year after she passed away, I was also able to go to the Chicago temple and do her baptism/confirmation work for her.  It was a very special experience. I love and miss Grandma Harkins very much!

Left to Right: my mom, me, great-grandma, and my great-aunt Tina
This was taken the summer shortly before she passed away.

Two weeks after my great-grandma Harkins died from cancer, my step-grandfather Bob Brown, passed away from cancer.  That was a seriously tough summer!  Most of my memories are of him telling me that I was a "perfectly good Georgia peach" that was "ruined by the d*** yankees."  He was a southern man, through and through.

Two years ago, Brad lost 2 of his uncles to different types of cancers.  His uncle Mike (from his mom's side), and his uncle Bruce (on his dad's side).  I only met them briefly once or twice, but they were incredible men.  I felt like I knew uncle Mike through Aunt Jeanne's faithful email updates and getting to know Brad's cousins (uncle Mike's children) who lived near us in Utah at the time.

Uncle Mike is in the center.  He was diagnosed with leukemia after getting home from their trip out to be at Brad and I's wedding.  A great man!

Survivors!

My dad's mom, my Grandma Mary-Ann, has had numerous types of cancers, but is still winning the fight.  I don't get updates often, but I do know she has had at least breast cancer and skin cancer.  She's such a strong woman!  I love her!

And most recently, my mom had a type of skin cancer.  She's recovering now-- the growth was surgically removed and her nose had to be reconstructed, but her dr says she's healing great and has been impressed with her recovery so far.  Way to go, Mummsie!!!

My Mummsie is a grandma! (that's her with munchkin as a newborn)
 I don't know why I don't have a more recent picture of her!  I'm sure i do, but can't find one.

I've also had friends who've been battling cancer.  Brother Teemant of one of our former Provo Family Wards is still fighting melanoma, though in remission.  And the very young son of another friend from another Provo Family Ward is in remission for childhood leukemia.