on monday, the girls and i were at the park when another mother pulled up and let her kids out of the car while she continued to sit in her car and smoke and listen to her ipod
this same boy was also horribly rude to his sister and called her names i won't repeat. and on one occasion she tried to play a game with him-- who can swing higher on the swings-- and he flat out told her that because she was a girl it didn't matter what she did because she was ugly. WHAT THE?!?!?! (for a more eloquent expression of my feeling on what he said, go check out http://www.beautyredefined.net/)
and just when i thought i could have any more disdain for this child who had NO RESPECT for women... he calls for my little munchkin to play with him on a pirate ship structure on the playground. i don't stop her, but i do watch very carefully because i do NOT trust this kid
i had HAD IT! I quickly put papoose back in the stroller, ran up this little playground to stop my munchkin just as she was about to crawl into this compartment and fall down the hole, and told her to NEVER go in there because I don't want her to get hurt.
perhaps i should have just left it at that... perhaps mamma bear was so frustrated at this boy's complete lack of respect for women or morals or safety that i lost it... but i screamed at someone else's child. yes... i did. i screamed at someone else's child, "Do NOT ever do that to my child again! you do NOT show a small child how to do something that they shouldn't do. EVER!" at that moment, i guess the boy's mother wasn't ignoring her kids, because she got out of her car immediately and demanded to know why i was yelling at her kids. In a still outraged and raised voice, i explained what i had seen and said, "i don't appreciate what your son just taught my daughter because it could get her seriously hurt. i think you'd do the same for your own child in my postion." and then she told her kids to get in the car and it was time to leave.
on another note-- today, i was listening and dancing to the wii game Just Dance 3 with my munchkin, and suddenly was hit with how... trashy and perverse the lyrics were in those songs. we're getting rid of it. we don't need sexually explicit "entertainment" in our home. apparently my kids can get enough of that just going to the park...
( a less mature part of me congratulated myself on not criticizing this boy or his mother's morals to their face, and just sticking to the "safety issue"... but that's not the point i'm realizing right now... ugh... i even want to call myself a judgemental jerk right now; i sound like a self-righteous ninny. please don't judge me. i know i shouldn't have yelled at someone else's kid. i shouldn't have lost it on a complete stranger. i feel terrible and am judging myself enough, so please. i'm working on becoming a better person, and if i get the chance, i want to apologize to that mother. i don't know what she's struggling with right now. maybe she had a bad relationship with the kids' father, maybe she's trying to quit smoking, and the world's crashing in on her. maybe she stayed in her car for a moment's peace and some crazy self-righteous mother just slapped her in the face with what a terrible mom she already feels like. i'm sorry other mother. i shouldn't judge you, i'm sorry i did. i pray that you have the strength to teach your kids the best you know how.)
what is it about being a mom that makes you hyper-aware/sensitive to things you believe
are morally wrong? have any other moms had a similar experience?
3 comments:
ok so we will start this comment with the fact that I am no where near as....calm and well mannered?...as you are Marie but I will say I wouldve done the same thing if not worse! Not saying I wouldve been right but I wouldve done it! To many people dont "Raise" their children anymore they let the world do it for them. Your right she may have been struggling but this also may have been the thing to wake her up and make her take notice of what shes doing...just saying
I don't think you need to apologize. Don't feel so bad. Obviously these people need someone like you to tell them that certain things are not "okay" because they will never be aware of it otherwise. Regardless of what she was dealing with that day or any day, she should have been watching her kids, she should be aware of the music she allows them to listen to. She should be aware of the way they are speaking to each other and people they don't know and she should be aware when her children are doing things that are not safe or appropriate. It's one thing if it was one little mistake, a bad word slip up or he just knew a bad song or he only taught Naomi something unsafe. If it was just one of those things, I could see giving her the benefit of the doubt, but when it's all of the above, she needs to revamp her parenting. Okay, my rant is over.
I think it is natural to be protective as a parent- as you should be. As we all need to be. Not everyone raises their kids like you or I do- so we need to be aware of what is around and keep our kids safe. On the other hand I recently read this: http://www.littlemissmomma.com/2012/09/the-rescue.html
and it has changed my perspective on other mothers and their kids. That is not to say you should not be protective- you should be- I am just glad that you are aware that there are other issues that people are dealing with at the time... and sometimes what is happening doesn't reflect how good or bad a parent someone is. I am glad to hear that you are sensitive to that too! You are doing a great job as a mom!
Post a Comment