The Birth Story: Naomi Edition

I've got the cutest little girl ever! She's seriously perfect in almost every way-- she's even sleeping through the night already, even if her "night doesn't start til 2am," it at least lasts til 9 or 10 am!!! Yes; I'm know i'm the luckiest mommy ever!

pictures to come soon!

The Birth Story
So, my due date was Monday, April 19th. The day came and went, and Naomi had no intention of coming. I cried myself to sleep that night because I wasn't going into labor and was convinced that she would decide to come on Thursday night or Friday morning-- which is when i was supposed to graduate from BYU. my family was coming into town on Wednesday for my graduation and they wanted to meet the newest member of the family before leaving Saturday morning. but Brad, being the righteous and wonderful husband that he is, reminded me to pray for comfort and then offered to give me a blessing. It brought great comfort, and i was able to go to sleep peacefully despite knowing that my little girl would not be coming that night.

Tuesday, April 20th at 10:30am, I was scheduled for an NST (non-stress test) since i was "past-due." Basically they hook me up to a monitor to measure baby's heart rate and mommy's contractions. I apparently had 3 or 4 contractions while i was there, but i didn't feel them. The nurse said she was concerned about a couple dips, so she had the specialist doctor look at it and he said i needed to go to the hospital to be induced, "right now." i looked at her in shock-- wait, what? the dips she was concerned about,she called them "late decelerations" and it looked like baby's heart rate went down just before i had a contraction, and she explained that it meant something like my placenta was "getting tired." we bargined with her that we needed to go home for some things and run some errands before going to the hospital, so she gave us an hour.

we got to the hospital about 12:45pm. I was started on pitocin within 20 minutes. I was supposed to pick up my graduation gown at 1pm, but the nurse was already upset at letting us take an hour to get to the hospital, so after checking in, Brad left to go get my cap and gown about 2pm or so. I just watched tv and relaxed. About 2:30pm or so, my midwife arrived and wanted to break my water, but Brad wasn't back yet, and he wanted to be there, so I asked her to wait. I called Brad and he said he would be there ASAP. (This whole time, I still don't feel as though I've felt any contractions and I've been on pitocin for almost 2 hours.) He gets there and my water is broken at around 3pm-ish. Within about 20 minutes, I begin to feel slight tightening which I assume is contractions because it makes the monitor happy and lines start making bigger humps on the screen. Brad is at my side, and we just start watching a movie (Madagascar 2:Escape to Africa) as the contractions begin to get stronger and stronger and last longer and longer. Within 30 minutes, I'm fully utilizing the breathing techniques I'd learned and constantly reminding myself-- I need to relax, tensing only creates pain. relax, breath. relax. relax, breathe. relax. Relax... RELAX! ok, i don't know how to relax--BREATHE!!!

I begin think-chanting to myself, "i can do this, i can do this. I can do this!" (think of the story "The Little Engine That Could.") when the nurse checks me, however, and I haven't made ANY progress at all... I feel like I've wasted all my energy for nothing. I'm at 4 cm and 70% effaced. (now, you gotta understand-- I was dialated to 4 1/2 cm yesterday,before they even induced me, and 80% effaced. When the nurses checked me after getting to the hospital, they told me I was only 3 cm and 60% effaced.) i was in freaking active labor and I had gone backwards?!?!?! That's when I got upset... I became vocalizing upset-- not yelling, mind you. just pretty peeved off and wanting to vent my opinion. The pitocin is at full strength, and I tell Brad, "I'm beginning to think about getting that epidural." He's wonderful and encouraging and does exactly what I had asked him-- reminds me of everything we'd learned, my body was designed for this ("especially well designed" he adds), I am strong and can do it, our baby girl is worth it. He holds my hand, massages me, breaths with me-- even the nurses are impressed and jokingly offer him a job cuz he's just that amazing!

This lasts about 2 hours when the nurses tell me i need to use the bathroom. We were good until then-- once in the bathroom, alone, with the contraction that wouldn't end after 3 minutes, I begin crying. I no longer think I can do this. My moaning turns into sobbing as Brad helps me back to bed; "I really think i'm going to need the epidural," I tell him, feeling defeated as I'm crying in the terribly immodest hospital gown that hides nothing from everyone in the room. "let's have the nurses check you. if you're not to a certain point by now, then you can tell me and we'll get one for you. " i agree, and want to be at least 6cm or more to keep going without the drugs.

I'm only 5cm. But i had made progress, i tell myself, so I don't give brad the signal right away. i think for about 7 or 8 more minutes (through 3 contractions) before i start crying again, and say the magic words-- "I want the epidural. please, get me an epidural!" The nurses go to call the anesthesiologist and my midwife arives to check on me and help me calm down since she realized i asked for the epidural. She shows us some new things to do to help relax-- they work amazingly well, but it's really tiring for Brad. He's sweating withing less than 10 minutes. The anesthesiologist still isn't there, and I don't know how much longer Brad can last, or myself without his help. I ask there nurses-- apparently the anesthesiologist is out for dinner (it's a little after 5pm) and so they called his back-up. He's on his way and will be there in about 30 minutes. I basically cry and hum to myself really loudly until he gets there 25 minutes later. The epidural takes the edge off immediately, and after 10 minutes, I can't feel anything and my toes are just a teeny bit tingly.

Over the next 2 hours, Brad and I relax and talk until I'm fully dialated and ffaced. Then the midwife advises me to take a nap and that she will be back in about an hour so we can start pushing. She just wants me to relax and let some contractions move the baby down further so that pushing will be easier. A half hour later, I begin to feel pressure from contractions and like I should push, but my midwife isn't there and the nurses are busy. Luckily, the epidural allowed me to simply breath and relax through them easily for another half hour. When the midwife showed up, an hour after she left exactly as she promised, we began pushing and Naomi was in my arms within 40 minutes.
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So... in the end, I threw my birthplan out the window. Kinda needed to, but oh well. I had psyched myself up for a drug-free birth and that didn't happen; and yet, I'm not really disappointed at all. Going into it, before I knew I would be induced, I was confident that I could have my baby without taking drugs despite the horror stories of pain in childbirth that a few women absolutely insisted on telling me after I asked them not to. I kinda believed that "as long as they don't give me Pitocin, i can do it"-- because every woman who encouraged me in my desire to give birth without drugs supported me because they had a terrible birth experience when given pitocin. Pitocin was the arch enemy and made birth terrible, but I could do it. When my midwife made me face the reality that I would likely be induced (since they would induce at 41 weeks and babies in my family traditionally were 10-14 days late), she encouraged me and let me know of women who still gave birth without getting an epidural or analgesics when given pitocin.

the day I was sent to the hospital to be induced, I was confident that I would TRY to go as long as I could without getting an epidural, and hoped i would have the strength to go through it without getting drugs despite being induced. well, I couldn't. but that doesn't mean that I'm upset with the way thigns were handled. and pitocin didn't make birth a horrible experience. I'm glad I have a happy and healthy baby. And i don't feel disappointed in myself for getting the epidural. I'd still like to try for a non-drug birth next time, but I think all in all, it was definitely worth it.