Anxiety

Something has been eating at me the last few weeks... maybe months.  it's hard to tell.  And maybe, as Brad speculates, it's all to do with the drama with buying our house.  But I have been feeling so anxious and wound-up lately.  Like a jack-in-the-box about to pop open, or a balloon filled to capacity with air about to explode, or potato soup in the microwave that ... you get the idea.  I've just not felt right for awhile now.

And the election didn't help at all.  I can't say that I've have ever felt so much anxiety over an election before.  And now that it's over, I don't even feel the least bit less anxious.  It's possible my anxiety is HIGHER now than before.

I stressed for months over who I was going to vote for.  I read everything I could about each candidate from the major parties.  I prayed for a long time about who I should vote for; and then we fasted as a family and prayed more about if the candidate we chose was the right one.  I never felt at peace either way.  I liked parts of one candidate's platform, other parts from the other candidate's platform, and on some issues I disagreed with both candidates. (and yes, I even considered a 3rd party candidate... but I didn't like them either)  Political posturing and mudslinging only made me grimace more at the thought of voting for either party.  And I mean political party.  I don't know that anyone as a voter who doesn't know either Obama or Romney personally truly knows what kind of person they are outside of the political mud fight.  I like to believe that both men are very intelligent and respectable, and are working to achieve what they believe is best for our nation; and the ugliness is just a cold (and in my opinion terrible) campaign strategy.

About a week before the election, I cast my absentee by mail ballot, and hoped that my anxiety would end.  After all, I'd done my civic duty, and could just sit back and be done with it.  (We voted early b/c we were unsure about when we'd close on our house and move, and if it'd happen before election day.)

I actually became MORE anxious. No matter who was elected or re-elected, I was going to disagree with him on some things that I feel passionate about.  It was like a hopelessness.  Election night came, and I thought that I'd feel peace after knowing who won... but wrong again.  I just felt more anxiety...

In the course of the election, friends, family, and acquaintances were bitterly divided.  And after the election results, I saw some pretty ugly things said from supporters of both sides.  And it dawned on me that the ugliness of this election wasn't between Obama and Romney.  It was between citizens.  Ugliness and disrespect and rudeness was rampant.

found this awesome image on thefirstecho.com, but it didn't have a souce cited, so this is the best i can do for a citation.

I REALLY dislike conflict.  I love to listen to other's opinions.  I love to talk to people who feel passionately about what they believe.  But can't this be done civilly?!?!?!  I've purposely decided to not reveal who I voted for to most people simply because it invites criticism, name calling, and rudeness.  

What are your thoughts on the election?  Social/political atmosphere?  Anyone else have a great amount of election anxiety?  Or am I just too sensitive to get involved in politics?