Fight Cancer, Save a Life

On December 4, I'm going to register to save a life; and I'm inviting you to join me.  I'm going to go to Midvale, Utah, where the tutoring company I work for is holding a drive to get people registered on the National Bone Marrow Donor Registry.  They are going to swab my cheek, and in the 8% chance that they call me because I'm a match, I can save a life. 

When I was in high school, the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore years, I lost both my great-grandma Harkins and my step-grandfather Bob to cancer, within just a few weeks of each other.   My grandma (dad's mom) has had a recent battle with breast and skin cancer, currently, she's in remission.  Just this past February, my husband lost a dear uncle to leukemia. Cancer has really taken it's toll on my family in many ways.  This past Saturday, I ran my first 5K to benefit a family in my previous church ward who's husband/father has Stage IV Melanoma.  Last week, another friend found out that her 6 month old son has leukemia.  I love all these people so much. 

 That's my Great-Grandma Harkins and my mom, the summer before she passed away form cancer.

I want to do what I can to save a life from cancer.  I can't say I won't be scared if I ever get a call telling me that I can save a life.  I know I've heard that donating bone marrow can hurt; but that pain can't be worse than losing someone you love. Please join me on Saturday, December 4.  Get registered to save a life.  Maybe you're not in a place in life where you can donate now; don't let that stop you from registering-- because when they give you a call, if they do, you'll likely be somewhere else in life.  You might be able to when you are needed.  And if you're not, you can say no, and no one will think less of you. All you have to do is get a cheek swab.  It's painless to register.  I'll even carpool with you if you want to join me.

My husband's cousin-in-law was able to donate blood stem cells a few weeks ago to save a man's life because she was on the registry.  She registered 8 years ago, and just got a call.  I know that person's family must be so grateful for her sacrifice.  She blogged her experience here: http://deshazerland.blogspot.com/

Here's the info I got from work on the Registry Drive:

The Huntington Learning Centers in Utah are hosting a bone marrow drive and fundraiser to encourage more Utahans to register with the national bone marrow registry.

On Saturday, December 4, 2010 we will be hosting a Bone Marrow Donor Drive and Fundraiser in partnership with the Rich Cronin Hope Foundation from 11am-4pm at our Midvale office.

The fight against cancer goes on and it touches may of our lives or the lives of our family or friends. Cancer  affects mothers, fathers, children, and it does not o overlook victims  based on social status, race, or age. The mission of the Rich Cronin Hope Foundation is to register people to be on the National Bone Marrow Donor Registry. Without people registering, there is no chance for many who need a donor to find one. In addition to registering people to save a life, we will be raising money for this wonderful foundation.

We would love if you would confirm a number of people that are willing to come out and be registered onto the National Bone Marrow Done Registry on December 4, 2010. The person that brings in the most registrants will win a gift basket! You can confirm these on the attached page and return to me via email or fax. Registering is quite simple (AND COMPLETELY painless-we just swab the inside of your cheek!) and takes roughly 15 minutes of your time. Please help us reach our goal of 150 new potential donors added to the registry through our drive! Anyone in good health between the ages of 18-60 can register!

Being a registered marrow donor means being registered to save a life.  It means providing the potential to save another person's life from your own.  It means potentially providing a person with the opportunity to win THE GOOD FIGHT.

Thank you in advance for your support!

When: Saturday December 4, 2010
Time: 11am-4pm
Where:Huntington Learning Center   

719 East Fort Union Blvd.      

            Midvale, UT 84047

New Look, New Acomplishments

This past Thursday, I got a haircut. It was quite a big change... but I LOVE it!
My good friend Sandy came to Utah over the weekend to visit before she moves to England for awhile. She is such an amazing woman; she made a big difference in my life when I was a young, confused, angry, and very sad teenager. And she continues to be a blessing in my life even when we don't see or talk much. Thank you, Sandy!

Saturday, I finished my first ever 5K! It was a benefit race, called Five to Fight Cancer, to benefit the Leo Teemant family. They are a family that lives in the church ward that Brad and I lived in last year. Such am amazing and wonderful family! One of their children were in our nursery class last year when Brad and I were nursery leaders at church. The father was diagnosed with Stage IV Melanoma, and was told he had less than 1 year to live. The family's story can be found here: www.fivetofightcancer.com

I can start crying anytime I think about them. They have a baby that's only 5 months old, and two other children, about 5 years and 3 years. It makes me wonder what would happen if something like this were to hit my family. If I or Brad were to die young, would our children remember us? What would they remember? Would Naomi remember how much we love her?

As I was about half way done, my asthma was making it very difficult for me to keep going. Utah air is dry, and it was a particularly cold morning when the race started. Cold, dry air is the WORST for my asthma. I didn't know if I could finish, but as I'm struggling to breath as I fight my way up a hill, I see Leo Teemant run past me. He just had his last chemo treatment 1 week ago. And I just start crying. This amazing man is fighting for his life. To stay with his family on this earth for just a little while longer. He is so strong and courageous. I could finish the race for him. Instead of trying to go faster and go into a full asthma attack, I get out my inhaler and decide that I will finish the race. I may not finish very fast, but I will finish without killing myself. I walked most of the race, stopping when necessary going uphill to use my inhaler, and walking/jogging in downhill areas. I finished with a time of 59:29. It felt amazing! I never thought I would do any kind of race, but I'm so glad I did!
Oh, and there was also a craft sale that same morning; all proceeds went to the Teemant's to help pay for medical expenses. I finished crocheting 4 scarves. Two of them sold for $20. I still have the other 2, and would be willing to sell them. Any money made from them will be given to the Teemants. Pictures below.This one was my favorite. I made it from leftover yarn from a few years ago when I made a Steelers' scarf for my then soon-to-be father-in-law. The yarn was inexpensive, but very soft. It is also the first time I made crocheted flowers. I was very pleased with them.The yarn for this and the other 3 was exquisitely soft! A wonderful woman donated this very expensive yarn to me for the purpose of making scarves for the sale. It was my second favorite, and is still available to buy! All proceeds will go to the Teemant family.
This one sold first. Made of the same exquisitely soft, very expensive, donated yarn; just a black instead of cream color, with a matching red crocheted flower.

There is a 4th scarf, not pictured, but still available. It's the super soft, expensive, donated yarn, but in a rich purple color and 2 cream colored crocheted flowers sewn on the end. Very beautiful, soft, and still available to benefit the Teemant family. I'll try to post a pic soon, when I get one.

A Happy Halloween Weekend

Well, that Recapturing Beauty Challenge was great. I've started a little project now with it; I've put all my blog posts about it in a word document, and am fixing it up and designing it into a little book. I'm going to add pics and colors and make it look super pretty. Then I'm going to save it as a pdf, and print it out like a little book. So I can always look back at it and remember the challenge and what I learned from it. I'm excited. Luckily, I learned how to do so mildly creative book creating when I was in my classroom management class. We had to do a "Management Plan" that we created into a little handbook. I think I learned more about designing books in word than about how to manage a classroom in that class, but it's paying off now!
(Photo courtesy of Lauren Barnes-- our awesome upstairs neighbor!)
Brad's cousin, Joanna, came through Provo and we got to visit with her. I really love that girl! She is always super nice. Example: she took graduation pictures for me on Sunday! And you're thinking, "didn't you graduate, like, 6 months ago??" And yes, you'd be correct. But since I gave birth only 3 days before graduation, I looked stoned out of my mind, my milk came in, had gotten no sleep after one day home with a baby, and was still in quite a bit of pain on graduation day-- I didn't feel like walking around campus with my 3 day old baby, fighting crowds to take pictures. You could not have paid me enough to do that. But 6 months later, I was feeling sad that I didn't have pictures to commemorate that major accomplishment. So Joanna, being her awesome self, took the pics!!! I'm so excited to see them!(Taken at the Provo Library with my phone-- too cute!)
We also had a Halloween party at Megan and Todd's (another of Brad's many awesome cousins). Munchkin stole the hearts of everyone with her cuteness as a little pumpkin. And I rocked at Just Dance 2; it's a Wii game that is now on my Christmas wish list. ;-)(I Love my pumpkin!!!)
Pictures coming soon! But here's some just to keep you coming back for more.(Thanks, Lauren, for the awesome pics! This is Brad's favorite!)
(Another Lauren Barnes masterpiece.) And this is my favorite!

Happy Halloween, from the Neeley's!

Recapturing Beauty FINAL Challenge

This was held in the Wilk. Talk about a powerful challenge! When I arrived with munchkin in her stroller, I felt surrounded by beauty. All these incredible women who were going through the same challenges I was for the past 10 days, all of us rediscovering or "recapturing" our beauty. I could jsut feel the excitement! I got my t-shirt, and munchkin and I sat at the outside of the group, mostly so munchkin would have room to wiggle around on the floor and play.

We were given 10 dots, and on them we wrote the "labels" that we felt we or others put on us. Then we put the labels on us. I can't tell you how... ashamed... I felt. Munchkin was looking at me all confused and started trying to take them of of me. They started reading the children's story You Are Special by Max Lucado. But I saw munchkin the whole time. Looking at me funny and trying to take off my dots. I kept telling her, "no, munchkin. Don't take off mommy's dots. They need to stay on her."

wow. What was munchkin seeing? I was her beautiful mommy, devaluing herself. She knew those shouldn't be on me. She tried taking them off. But I wouldn't let her. Man, how often have I refused to let go of a negative label? Do I really "need" it? What am I teaching Naomi by defeneding my negative self-image? Do I want her to learn to do the same thing?
NO!

I want to teach her that she is beautiful. because she is. I want to teach her that her worth can't be taken away from her. that she will always be beautiful. even when she's small right now. even when she hits puberty in 3rd grade, like I did. even when she has acne. even when she is told that she isn't by stupid boys, or magazines, or tv shows, or anyone else. But how can I teach her that if I don't believe it about myself? what kind of hypocrite will I be if I expect her to always know that she is beautiful, if I can't show her how to believe it? That's why I'm beautiful now.

After reading the story, we went one by one and removed the labels. Thank you, WSR, for such a great challenge. We need to let go of those labels and stops justifying them, defending them, believing them, I let munchkin take off the ones on my face, slobber all over them, and drop them. They will never stick to me again. Because I'm beautiful. Because I know I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. He loves me. Because Jesus Christ is my Savior and He died for me. He loves me.
I am BEAUTIFUL!

Recapturing Beauty Day 9: Connect

Take a nap, go for a walk, get a massage, take a bubble bath, or anything else that helps you appreciate and connect with your body.

Wow. I really am kinda brutal to my body. Not just mentally and emotionally, but physically too. I keep myself so busy and I don't get many chances to relax and "connect with my body" in a positive way. I carried munchkin to the library and my back was killing me! Then we had bowling, and I could hardly throw the ball because my back hurt so much. But I have a wonderful husband that would give me between bowling shoulder rubs. Such a sweety!

That evening, before bed, I did yoga for about 30 minutes. It always makes me feel SO GOOD! It's relaxing, challenging, and enjoyable. I use the Wii Fit to do the yoga, but I don't use the weighing feature on the game anymore because it always made me feel terrible about myself. Now I enjoy doing an activity that in high school I thought was only for vegetarians and hippies. Boy, was I wrong!

My great hubby then gave me a back rub as I fell to sleep. Seriously; he's the best! He can always remind me that I'm beautiful when I forget. Thanks, babe!

I am trying to stay beautiful.

Recapturing beauty Day 8: Mindfullness

Pay attention to your thoughts today. Ask yourself: "Is what I'm thinking really true?" Practice challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with more truthful ones.

thought: "I'm so fat."
truth: I'm overweight according to health charts, but I am active and I eat healthy. My body feels good, so I should feel good about it.

thought: "I've got double wide hips."
truth: well, the above might be true, but I just gave birth 6 months ago, and having those double wide hips really helped. And my husband loves them, so I should love them, too.

thought: "I'm such a horrible mommy for (fill in the blank, anything I'm not perfect at)."
truth: I love my munchkin and will do anything for her. I'm quitting my private tutoring job so she is well cared for and Brad can work more at his job. She is the center of every day. I may not be perfect, but I'm the perfect mommy for munchkin. And where I fall short, I can call on my Savior Jesus Christ to help me where I feel weak.

thought: "I hate utah and want to move back east. NOW!"
truth: I hate living so far away from family. I miss them so much! I'm excited for that time in our lives after Brad graduates and gets a job and we move, and I REALLY hope it's closer to our families.

thought: "I must not be feeding munchkin enough because she's so small!"
truth: She's health and growing slowly but consistently. She's very happy and smart. She's perfect.

thought: "I love my family so much!"
truth: I love my family so much!

thought: "I'm a failure because I couldn't get a teaching job."
truth: I applied everywhere within a 1 hr commute where I was qualified. I spent 10-30 hrs/week applying for jobs over the summer. But at the end of the day, I'm a good mommy, and the Lord has blessed us by meeting our needs so far. I'm very lucky to get to take care of munchkin and not need a babysitter.

thought: "I'm trying to be beautiful, but I don't know if I ever will be."
truth: I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love Him. I am beautiful in His eyes. I am beautiful in my husband's eyes. I am beautiful in my daughter's eyes. I am beautiful.

Not all of my thoughts are untruthful. Some I'm totally off base, and some are just a little off the mark. When I say something negative, there is almost always a more positive truth that I can replace it with.

Recapturing Beauty Day 7: No Media

No movies, TV, magazines, or internet surfing today. Instead, take time to tune into nature and be in touch with your inner self.

Since this was a Sunday, this was really easy. What else can I say? But I didn't exactly get to "tune into nature." Brad and I have terrible hay-fever, and Brad and I are worried that munchkin does, too. When we go out, he eyes get kinda puffy and red and she sneezes a lot for the rest of the day. Plus, it was raining.

I did get to go visit one my best friends and her new husband on Sunday. We played Killer Bunnies and had lots of fun.

You know what though,this prompt reminds me of a prompt for my Young Women's camp journal a while back. We were supposed to sit in the woods, read the First Vision of Joseph Smith, contemplate nature, pray to know the Book of Mormon was true, and then write our expereinces. Another year, we read the creation story in the Bible, along with the Joseph Smith Translation and the Book of Moses in the Pearl of Great Price, then pray expressing gratitude for the earth, and write about our experiences. Both times, I'm pretty sure I was distracted by the mosquitoes and worried about ticks and snakes. But I'm thinking about them now, wishing I had my camp journal with me.

Heavenly Father created our bodies. They are His creation, and I am so grateful for mine. I was designed perfectly for what I need my body for in this life. Wow! I want to remember that.

My body is perfect for its creation, because it was designed by a perfect and loving Father in Heaven. It is beautiful. I am beautiful.

Recapturing Beauty Day 6: No Fat Talk

Refrain from talk about weight or shape, of self or others. Be aware of how often you compare yourself to others. How does it make you feel?

Wow. I didn't realize how MUCH we always talk about weight, shape, appearance. It has really blown my mind. I thought about it most of the day, and it is ALWAYS there. I'm floored. stunned. Now, not all of it was comparative or negative. A few times, it was to point out a person in a group. But really, we always pick out a defining physical appearance trait to describe a person.

"Your new visiting teacher; she's that one tiny girl over there, dark hair, pulled back."
"She's super tall, very skinny, blonde hair."
"She's a ... bigger woman. Over there, holding a baby."

I was at a Relief Society luncheon, and the question going around the table was "What did you think of your husband the first time you saw him? Was it love at first sight?" It was tough to get around that one!

Or the hardest one. Talking about babies! Man, talking about babies is one big weight and shape conference. Everything is about how much the baby weighs, how long (s)he is, comparing one baby to another. And I'm just as guilty as the next person. Goodness, my facebook status right now is my munchkin's weight and height stats at her 6 month checkup. Are we mommy's obsessed, or what? I found myself telling my husbands about babies that I see at the library, and it's always something like, "That baby was huge! 4 months old and wearing 9-12 month size clothes!" or even my own munchkin. her nickname is even a product of her size-- she's tiny. 5th %itle. I can't help but think that our obsession with weight, shape, and size are all instill in us from the moment we are born, and reinforced our entire lives. The first thing a person asks after a baby is born is "how much did (s)he weigh?" ok, maybe not the first. it might come after "is it a boy or girl?" and "what's his/her name?" but the point is, form birth, we start labeling people based on their weight/size/shape.

I can see it happening already to naomi. she's going to be a healthy, happy, prehaps small girl growing up. then she's going to hit puberty and start gaining weight in awkward places, and she'll likely hit puberty sooner than other girls like her mommy did. it'll start with a parent or grandparent, or well meaning dr.,or a number of other people who will remark on how she's gotten so big. she's putting on a little pudge. she needs to exercise more, she needs to eat less or more healthy, she needs to diet. she needs to get out of the house and play so she stops gaining weight. that's right. i said "stops gaining weight." as she gets older, she'll get more curves. with her genetic donation from me, and her daddy, she'll have a larger body structure, fuller hips, a larger chest, and that number on the scale will never be low enough.

how do i know this? because it's what happened to me.
one summer, i remember being a happy, healthy 8 year old girl. i asked grandma for some oreos after school. mom usually gave me 4, but grandma gave me 2. i asked for more. and she said no, because i was gaining weight. she said i ate too many snacks and didn't exercise enough, and that's why i was gaining weight. NOT that I needed a training bra because I hit puberty early. NOT that she just thought 2 cookies was enough and it was bad for my teeth. but because i was simply gaining weight.

the next summer, we went to a swimming place, one with water slides and a lazy river thing. I only had a 2 piece bathing suit. grandma told me i shouldn't wear a 2 piece because I was "too big" to wear one and had gained too much weight to wear one. NOT because it's immodest and i should respect my *beautiful* body by being modest, but because I heard I was too fat to look good in one.

the countless times that people compared me to my younger sister, who was still a happy, healthy, skinny child while i was hitting puberty and gaining weight on my thighs and butt, and needed a bra. "why cant you get out and exercise? your sister isn't gaining weight."

all though high school, if I'd forgotten to do a chore and was watching a tv show, or if I ate more than was proper, I'd be told that if i ate any more I'd get bigger than a house and not be able to walk through the front door. it didn't matter that the only food in house was fast food, hostess and little debbie cakes, ice cream, soda pop, hot dogs, burgers, pizza. that there were no fresh veggies or fruits. it didnt matter that i'd be called ungrateful if i didn'teat what was at home and be forced to eat it in front of the family. it didn't matter that i tried after countless meals to throw up, wished i could, but could never successfully make myself gag. it didnt matter that i would give away most of my lunch at school, that i would work out after school for 2 hrs and go to so many after school activities that i wouldn't have time to eat. "if you keep eating like that you'll get so fat you won't be able to get out of bed in the morning; is that what you want?" but all i heard was "if you keep eating you'll keep getting fat."

and it's taken me until now to understand what happened. how damaging talking about weight and size and shape to our children can be. some girls never realize that it's just because they hit puberty early. that their bodies are changing, but they are still beautiful. how many lives could we have saved from eating disorders if we had told our daughters, sisters, etc that they are beautiful while their bodies are changing? if the center olf nearly every conversation didnt revolve around what we look like? i plan on telling my daughter everyday, how beautiful she is. because she is my daughter. because she is a daughter of a Heavenly Father, who loves her perfectly. even when we need to go bra shopping for the first time (which i know will be sooner than i want it to be). even when she's frustrated that her pants don't fit "right", or the way they used to. because she IS BEAUTIFUL.

well, this became something i wasn't expecting... i'm trying to be beautiful.

Recapturing Beauty Day 5: Exercise

So, I failed today. I planned on going swimming all day at the byu pool, which is only open 8-10pm. And I missed it. Hoping I can go tomorrow, but not sure if I'll have the time. I'm babysitting for a friend about 9:30-ish, then going to a RS luncheon at 1pm, then to the temple hopefully by 3:30pm... and I need to watch a movie I rented from the library and return it before the library closes at 6pm. The pool is open 1pm-10pm on Saturday.... I think. Busy day tomorrow. But I did go for a beautiful morning and afternoon walk to the library for Book Babies. Love it!!! If I can get my swim in tomorrow, I'll just mark my challenge as "late" and get docked 20%. um, 20% of what? beautiful points? i sure hope that's not the case! :-p

But I've been contemplating tomorrow's challenge a lot, and I'm ready for it! I'm not going to talk about weight or shape of myself, or others. I'm not going to engage in the destructive practice of comparing myself to others. I'm going to feel and be beautiful.

Recapturing Beauty Day 4

How much time do you spend getting ready each day? Today, use the same amount of time to get ready on the inside; mediate, write in your journal, or preform and act of service, etc.

Thursday, Oct. 7, 2010
It depends on the day, and what your definition of ready is... this morning, I had to tutor some amazing girls in Lehi. I rolled out of bed with a pounding headache at approx. 8am, took a shower, got dressed, fed the munchkin, brushed my hair, helped Brad find a contact that he dropped on the bathroom floor, ate a bowl of cereal, found my dead cell phone and hooked it to the charger, and moved laundry to the dryer, all before leaving the house to go tutor at 9:30am. Some days, I never leave the house and take care of munchkin all day and never get out of my pajamas.

I love having something to do each day, especially in the morning, because it makes me get up and I always feel more productive when I do. I like myself more when I feel productive; but at the same time, I struggle to feel like a good mom if I am productive around the house at the expense of spending time with my munchkin. Do I wash dishes, do laundry, vacuum, tidy up take out the trash, make dinner, and clean the bathroom while munchkin rolls around in her crib, or sits in her baby center and cries, or do I read to her, and take her for a walk and talk to her about everything she sees, and roll on the floor and laugh with her, tickle her tummy, and play with her? It's tough to do it all. And I've never been able to fit it all in one day, even though I feel the pressure to do so. I guess the simple answer is to do a little of both. I've always been one of those just-get-to-it-and-finish-it-all-at-once kinda of people. Having a baby has realy made me aave to change that; and it's something I'm still working on.

Tomorrow's challenge is to workout for fun, even if it makes me self-conscious of my body. But since I likely won't get the chance tomorrow, tonight I'm going to go to Zumba at BYU. Tomorrow after Brad gets back from class, we are driving to California for Brady and Tami's reception (Brad's the Best Man). Yay for long car rides with Munchkin! It's going to be a roughly 10-11 hr drive, one-way. And we need to be back by Sunday at 5pm to have dinner at Brad's Aunt June's house. We're gearing up for a whorl-wind weekend!

I'll have lots of updates about my weekend and the challenge when I get back next week. Just so I remember-- tomorrow is exercise for dun day (which I'm kinda cheating and doing tonight instead), Saturday is No Fat Talk day, and Sunday is No Media day. I want to remember these and stick to this recapturing beauty challenge, even though I'll be gone this weekend. I know that I've been feeling great the past few days. I'm feeling more beautiful each day; and I hope you are too! Now to take a walk with the munchkin to the library. We love that place; especially on Friday mornings at 10am for Book Babies!

I'm trying to be beautiful.

Thursday, Oct. 14, 2010
today, I cleaned the house. Washing ALL the laundry (4 loads including all the towels), folding and hanging up laundry, making beds, re-arranging furniture, vacuuming, dishes, cleaning the stove and sink, and making dinner. all while taking care of munchkin. tho, i must admit, she made it easy by taking a nearly 4 hour nap this afternoon! I always feel better after cleaning. In fact, i think one of my favorite feelings ever is working really hard to clean the house and then being able to sit down with a smoothie and just sit. enjoying a clean home. it feels so refreshing to work so hard to clean and then sit and enjoy the fruits of my labors. i realize these moments will become much less frequent as munchkin grows older, more mobile and active. but for now, i'm enjoying my clean home!

it makes me feel beautiful-- inside and out.

ps: I was very sad that there was no zumba today... i'd really like to go, but for the past month, there's always been something fall through. 1 week i got sick the night before after going swimming, the next week it was cancelled for stephanie neilson's talk, last week the instructor didn't show up after many of us waited around for 15-20 minutes. and this week, it just isn't scheduled. next week, it's at 9pm. hoping i can go then. anyone want to come with me?