How Hard Can It Be?

I'm tettering on the verge of a mental breakdown and am currently debating a very violent smashing of our pumpkin that's still sitting around from Halloween, or just crying uncontrollably whilst unpacking everything and resigning myself to the fact that we may never get into our home.  There's not much middle ground for me when I've been on an emotional edge for 3 months.

We made our initial offer on our home back on August 12. And should have closed by October 12.  No one was worried.  We were ahead of schedule for pretty much everything.

And then ... THE BANK.  That infernal pit of pain and misery full of people who seem to spend their days just picking their own belly-button lint.  We sent them everything on September 28, after jumping through a few hoops and harassing an insulation contractor to turn in his credentials in a more professional way than taking pictures of them on his smartphone.  Everything should have gone smoothly.  Until October 12 came and went and we hadn't heard anything from THE BANK. So we extended to October 31, which also happened to be the end of our apartment lease.


 October 17, we hear that the bank got our application and is beginning underwriting...
yeah.  a week after we should have closed-- they tell us they are starting to work on it. (in hindsight, we should have threatened to switch banks right then... we would now if we thought it might get us closed faster)

The week of Halloween rolls around, and our loan officer and buying agent are trying really hard to help us get closed, but they are honest with us-- it's not looking good.  So we kindly convince our apartment manager to let us stay another month, but she reminds us that she's keeping out apartment on the market, and when she rents it, we have no contract to guarantee we can stay there, so we'd need to be out.  We pass on our impending homelessness to our buying agent and loan officer, and they keep working really hard doing whatever they can.

We file a SECOND extension up to Friday, November 16.  and THE BANK keeps picking lint out of their belly buttons.

Our loan officer spending insane hours working on getting the bank to hurry up.  bank asks for more docs.  she sends them.  bank says, "oh, that's not what we wanted; we actually want these docs."  she sends them.  bank comes back, "we don't have these docs."  Actually, we've sent those TWICE.  And our awesome loan officer calls the belly-button-lint pickers and chews them out, and then calls manager, and chews them out, and then calls their manager, and chews them a new belly button to pick lint out of on Thursday night and Friday morning (the day we should have closed, the 2nd time).  But we don't make closing, so we file a THIRD extension that goes to (tomorrow) Wednesday, Nov. 21.  Because the bank passed on some info that "hey, you've been good sports and given us everything we've asked for, so you're ready to close.  just gotta get these docs to the title company."

title company, upon hearing our tale of woe and impending homelessness assures us that they are prepared to help us close ASAP and can have us ready to close within 1 hour of getting necessary docs from the belly-button-lint pickers.  Well, it's the end of business hours on Tuesday, and the title company still hasn't gotten the docs they need from the bank.

The seller's agent is apparently trying to pressure our buying agent to get us to close by telling us that the sellers are going away after thanksgiving and if we don't close tomorrow, then we won't close til December.  Newflash:  we'll be homeless pretty soon if we don't close tomorrow. You want to put pressure on someone, call the lint-pickers at Michigan Mutual, Inc.  

Everything we have is packed.  We've even dismantled our beds; my munchkin is sleeping in her closet (guess when your bed is packed and you can fit your teeny mattress in there, might as well as fun, right?), all but a few days worth of clothes are packed, our dishes are packed and we're using paper and plastic eatingware.  I've scrubbed down the bathrooms, the kitchen (including behind our stove!), and I've even started cleaning the baseboards and cupboards. We are and have been fully prepared to close for over a month now. I don't want to extend a FOURTH time...

 And it seems everyone I talk to knows someone or had this happen to them, and they find out hours before closing that the bank denies the loan.  Yeah... those kind of stories aren't comforting... they just induce tears and/or lots of screaming into my pillow. and a massive headache.

ok, rant done.
can we just buy our house, please?!

Anxiety

Something has been eating at me the last few weeks... maybe months.  it's hard to tell.  And maybe, as Brad speculates, it's all to do with the drama with buying our house.  But I have been feeling so anxious and wound-up lately.  Like a jack-in-the-box about to pop open, or a balloon filled to capacity with air about to explode, or potato soup in the microwave that ... you get the idea.  I've just not felt right for awhile now.

And the election didn't help at all.  I can't say that I've have ever felt so much anxiety over an election before.  And now that it's over, I don't even feel the least bit less anxious.  It's possible my anxiety is HIGHER now than before.

I stressed for months over who I was going to vote for.  I read everything I could about each candidate from the major parties.  I prayed for a long time about who I should vote for; and then we fasted as a family and prayed more about if the candidate we chose was the right one.  I never felt at peace either way.  I liked parts of one candidate's platform, other parts from the other candidate's platform, and on some issues I disagreed with both candidates. (and yes, I even considered a 3rd party candidate... but I didn't like them either)  Political posturing and mudslinging only made me grimace more at the thought of voting for either party.  And I mean political party.  I don't know that anyone as a voter who doesn't know either Obama or Romney personally truly knows what kind of person they are outside of the political mud fight.  I like to believe that both men are very intelligent and respectable, and are working to achieve what they believe is best for our nation; and the ugliness is just a cold (and in my opinion terrible) campaign strategy.

About a week before the election, I cast my absentee by mail ballot, and hoped that my anxiety would end.  After all, I'd done my civic duty, and could just sit back and be done with it.  (We voted early b/c we were unsure about when we'd close on our house and move, and if it'd happen before election day.)

I actually became MORE anxious. No matter who was elected or re-elected, I was going to disagree with him on some things that I feel passionate about.  It was like a hopelessness.  Election night came, and I thought that I'd feel peace after knowing who won... but wrong again.  I just felt more anxiety...

In the course of the election, friends, family, and acquaintances were bitterly divided.  And after the election results, I saw some pretty ugly things said from supporters of both sides.  And it dawned on me that the ugliness of this election wasn't between Obama and Romney.  It was between citizens.  Ugliness and disrespect and rudeness was rampant.

found this awesome image on thefirstecho.com, but it didn't have a souce cited, so this is the best i can do for a citation.

I REALLY dislike conflict.  I love to listen to other's opinions.  I love to talk to people who feel passionately about what they believe.  But can't this be done civilly?!?!?!  I've purposely decided to not reveal who I voted for to most people simply because it invites criticism, name calling, and rudeness.  

What are your thoughts on the election?  Social/political atmosphere?  Anyone else have a great amount of election anxiety?  Or am I just too sensitive to get involved in politics?

November is National Adoption Month!

So, a friend asked that I write a blog post or share something about adoption and/or their adoption profile to celebrate National Adoption Month.  I think adoption is so wonderful, and I jumped at the opportunity to share my thoughts...

but then when I sat down to write this ... I just couldn't think of anything to say that felt... Right.  Inspirational.  Powerful.

You see. I know adoption is a powerful and wonderful way to bring families together and bless lives.  But I can't say that I know that for myself personally.
I was not adopted.
None of my siblings were adopted.
My parents weren't either.
My husband wasn't, or anyone in his immediate family.
Our daughters were not adopted.
We probably won't adopt children, or place any of our children with an adoptive family. (I say "probably" because it's not in our plans as of now, but we don't know what the future holds for us, and if one day Heavenly Father impressed us that adoption would be right for our family, then we'd do it.)

So, in writing this, I kinda feel like an outsider to a beautiful thing; and I'm trying to tell you how beautiful and awesome it is without really knowing it personally. (Almost like trying to tell you what it's like to visit Rome after only reading travel brochures. I don't feel like I can do it justice or touch you the way others can who have been there.) But I do have quite a bunch of dear friends whose lives have been touch by adoption.  I know the love that has filled their hearts and made their families whole through adoption.  Anytime a friend tells me their positive experience with adoption, my heart just ... bursts (I'm not kidding, I really do feel like I have a mini-Independence-Day fireworks show going on in my chest.  I can't really explain it, but it feels good).  And so, to all of my incredible friends, I wanted to share a little something with you to celebrate National Adoption Month.  My hope is that families and persons who support adoption can be more than just those who are personally touched by it.

If you, or someone you know, has adopted a child or is looking to place a child with an adopted family, one of the kindest and EASIEST things you can do to support their family's decision to adopt is to use supportive words, often known as "Positive Adoption Language," or Respectful Adoption Language.  The words we use in conversation are powerful, and being kind in our words can build families and individuals up. Positive Adoption Language is not just for families or individuals directly affected by adoption; it's for everyone. A great friend sent me this document that recommends some potentially supportive language in place of potentially harmful language.


These are some friends' blogs or profiles who are searching for their child through adoption. Please pass along their blog/profile as they search for their family. (Also, if you are looking for your little one through adoption, I'd love to share your blog, button, profile, etc.  Just let me know!)

Shaun and Lanette

Chelsy and Brent

More adoption information can be found at It's About Love (facilitated through LDS Family Serivces) or Adoption.com