Christmas Card 2012

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Dear Family and Friends,

Boy, it has been an eventful year for the Neeley household! So much has happened that we decided to publish our first Christmas newsletter and send it to you all! We hope this letter finds you well.

Brad celebrated his 1^st year of full-time employment at In The Round Design Group this past October. He loves working there as a web developer and is growing by leaps and bounds in his programming skills. In March, Brad took advantage of the new company insurance by meeting his yearly deductible during an appendectomy to cure his chronic appendicitis. He also celebrated his 1^st year anniversary of being the Young Men’s president in our church ward, meaning he works with the boys ages 12-18 at church. The boys are fun to work with and always keep him on his worst behavior. Marie is not happy to have gained a teenager this early…

Speaking of Marie, she enjoyed the year as a full-time stay at home mom, keeping the sanity (or some semblance of it) rooted in the home. In May, she got Brad out of one of his morning church meetings early to welcome a new baby girl, Ruthe Maedean. Marie has enjoyed seeing the two sisters grow and interact ever since. She serves as a primary teacher at church, teaching the 5-6 year olds. The majority of her year has been planning, preparing and taking the forefront in our search for the Neeley mothership (a.k.a. our first house!). She was the brains behind the operation.

On Dec. 7^th, we finally closed on our house after having an offer accepted by the sellers on August 12^th. Don’t worry, we still have some hair left on our heads. J  Moving day was December 11^th; we’re slowly getting settled in. We love our home.  Come visit us sometime!

Charlotte Naomi turned 2 this year and has been dazzling her parents with her intelligence and wit.  She always knows how to make her parents laugh and has a great Neeley personality (she fits right in with us weirdies). Some of Munchkin’s favorite things are cars, tools, horses, and Bambi. She is learning the alphabet and her numbers this year and really enjoys practicing. She loves the number 11. She counts, “1, 2, 3, 4, 11, 6, 11, 9, 11”. She loves nursery. Anytime we go to church, even when it’s not Sunday, she recognizes the road and asks “We go to nursery?” She has a great interest and enjoyment in playing the piano and listening and dancing to music. We’re so blessed to have her shining spirit in our home and family.

Ruthe Maedean made her grand entrance on May 27^th (a day before her due date!) weighing 8 pounds 3 ounces and 19 inches long. She is named after Brad’s Grandmother (Ruthe Charlotte Hollrock Neeley) and Marie’s Great-Grandmother (Francis Maedean Harrison Harkins). Baby Ruthe (aka: Papoose or Poosa) has her daddy’s crazy-eyes and goofy smile, and her mommy’s cuddliness.  She amazes (and frightens) us every day with how mobile she is becoming. She started rolling over consistently at only 3 weeks, sitting unsupported at 4 ½ months, and crawling a week before she turned 6 months. She keeps her mama on her toes! …and sometimes has mama’s toes in her mouth. She watches and learns from her sister’s every move. Naomi and Ruthe get along great and just barely started sharing a room in the new house. Mommy and Daddy finally get their own room again! J

We thank you all for your friendship and love towards us. We love you all and pray for you often. We know  Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. We love this time of year to be able to celebrate the miracle and gift of His birth, truly the greatest gift we have all received. His life and works have made it possible for all of us to return to live with Him and our families forever. May you have peace and glad tidings this Christmas and throughout the New Year!

Love,

The Neeleys

Brad, Marie, Naomi & Ruthe

How Hard Can It Be?

I'm tettering on the verge of a mental breakdown and am currently debating a very violent smashing of our pumpkin that's still sitting around from Halloween, or just crying uncontrollably whilst unpacking everything and resigning myself to the fact that we may never get into our home.  There's not much middle ground for me when I've been on an emotional edge for 3 months.

We made our initial offer on our home back on August 12. And should have closed by October 12.  No one was worried.  We were ahead of schedule for pretty much everything.

And then ... THE BANK.  That infernal pit of pain and misery full of people who seem to spend their days just picking their own belly-button lint.  We sent them everything on September 28, after jumping through a few hoops and harassing an insulation contractor to turn in his credentials in a more professional way than taking pictures of them on his smartphone.  Everything should have gone smoothly.  Until October 12 came and went and we hadn't heard anything from THE BANK. So we extended to October 31, which also happened to be the end of our apartment lease.


 October 17, we hear that the bank got our application and is beginning underwriting...
yeah.  a week after we should have closed-- they tell us they are starting to work on it. (in hindsight, we should have threatened to switch banks right then... we would now if we thought it might get us closed faster)

The week of Halloween rolls around, and our loan officer and buying agent are trying really hard to help us get closed, but they are honest with us-- it's not looking good.  So we kindly convince our apartment manager to let us stay another month, but she reminds us that she's keeping out apartment on the market, and when she rents it, we have no contract to guarantee we can stay there, so we'd need to be out.  We pass on our impending homelessness to our buying agent and loan officer, and they keep working really hard doing whatever they can.

We file a SECOND extension up to Friday, November 16.  and THE BANK keeps picking lint out of their belly buttons.

Our loan officer spending insane hours working on getting the bank to hurry up.  bank asks for more docs.  she sends them.  bank says, "oh, that's not what we wanted; we actually want these docs."  she sends them.  bank comes back, "we don't have these docs."  Actually, we've sent those TWICE.  And our awesome loan officer calls the belly-button-lint pickers and chews them out, and then calls manager, and chews them out, and then calls their manager, and chews them a new belly button to pick lint out of on Thursday night and Friday morning (the day we should have closed, the 2nd time).  But we don't make closing, so we file a THIRD extension that goes to (tomorrow) Wednesday, Nov. 21.  Because the bank passed on some info that "hey, you've been good sports and given us everything we've asked for, so you're ready to close.  just gotta get these docs to the title company."

title company, upon hearing our tale of woe and impending homelessness assures us that they are prepared to help us close ASAP and can have us ready to close within 1 hour of getting necessary docs from the belly-button-lint pickers.  Well, it's the end of business hours on Tuesday, and the title company still hasn't gotten the docs they need from the bank.

The seller's agent is apparently trying to pressure our buying agent to get us to close by telling us that the sellers are going away after thanksgiving and if we don't close tomorrow, then we won't close til December.  Newflash:  we'll be homeless pretty soon if we don't close tomorrow. You want to put pressure on someone, call the lint-pickers at Michigan Mutual, Inc.  

Everything we have is packed.  We've even dismantled our beds; my munchkin is sleeping in her closet (guess when your bed is packed and you can fit your teeny mattress in there, might as well as fun, right?), all but a few days worth of clothes are packed, our dishes are packed and we're using paper and plastic eatingware.  I've scrubbed down the bathrooms, the kitchen (including behind our stove!), and I've even started cleaning the baseboards and cupboards. We are and have been fully prepared to close for over a month now. I don't want to extend a FOURTH time...

 And it seems everyone I talk to knows someone or had this happen to them, and they find out hours before closing that the bank denies the loan.  Yeah... those kind of stories aren't comforting... they just induce tears and/or lots of screaming into my pillow. and a massive headache.

ok, rant done.
can we just buy our house, please?!

Anxiety

Something has been eating at me the last few weeks... maybe months.  it's hard to tell.  And maybe, as Brad speculates, it's all to do with the drama with buying our house.  But I have been feeling so anxious and wound-up lately.  Like a jack-in-the-box about to pop open, or a balloon filled to capacity with air about to explode, or potato soup in the microwave that ... you get the idea.  I've just not felt right for awhile now.

And the election didn't help at all.  I can't say that I've have ever felt so much anxiety over an election before.  And now that it's over, I don't even feel the least bit less anxious.  It's possible my anxiety is HIGHER now than before.

I stressed for months over who I was going to vote for.  I read everything I could about each candidate from the major parties.  I prayed for a long time about who I should vote for; and then we fasted as a family and prayed more about if the candidate we chose was the right one.  I never felt at peace either way.  I liked parts of one candidate's platform, other parts from the other candidate's platform, and on some issues I disagreed with both candidates. (and yes, I even considered a 3rd party candidate... but I didn't like them either)  Political posturing and mudslinging only made me grimace more at the thought of voting for either party.  And I mean political party.  I don't know that anyone as a voter who doesn't know either Obama or Romney personally truly knows what kind of person they are outside of the political mud fight.  I like to believe that both men are very intelligent and respectable, and are working to achieve what they believe is best for our nation; and the ugliness is just a cold (and in my opinion terrible) campaign strategy.

About a week before the election, I cast my absentee by mail ballot, and hoped that my anxiety would end.  After all, I'd done my civic duty, and could just sit back and be done with it.  (We voted early b/c we were unsure about when we'd close on our house and move, and if it'd happen before election day.)

I actually became MORE anxious. No matter who was elected or re-elected, I was going to disagree with him on some things that I feel passionate about.  It was like a hopelessness.  Election night came, and I thought that I'd feel peace after knowing who won... but wrong again.  I just felt more anxiety...

In the course of the election, friends, family, and acquaintances were bitterly divided.  And after the election results, I saw some pretty ugly things said from supporters of both sides.  And it dawned on me that the ugliness of this election wasn't between Obama and Romney.  It was between citizens.  Ugliness and disrespect and rudeness was rampant.

found this awesome image on thefirstecho.com, but it didn't have a souce cited, so this is the best i can do for a citation.

I REALLY dislike conflict.  I love to listen to other's opinions.  I love to talk to people who feel passionately about what they believe.  But can't this be done civilly?!?!?!  I've purposely decided to not reveal who I voted for to most people simply because it invites criticism, name calling, and rudeness.  

What are your thoughts on the election?  Social/political atmosphere?  Anyone else have a great amount of election anxiety?  Or am I just too sensitive to get involved in politics?

November is National Adoption Month!

So, a friend asked that I write a blog post or share something about adoption and/or their adoption profile to celebrate National Adoption Month.  I think adoption is so wonderful, and I jumped at the opportunity to share my thoughts...

but then when I sat down to write this ... I just couldn't think of anything to say that felt... Right.  Inspirational.  Powerful.

You see. I know adoption is a powerful and wonderful way to bring families together and bless lives.  But I can't say that I know that for myself personally.
I was not adopted.
None of my siblings were adopted.
My parents weren't either.
My husband wasn't, or anyone in his immediate family.
Our daughters were not adopted.
We probably won't adopt children, or place any of our children with an adoptive family. (I say "probably" because it's not in our plans as of now, but we don't know what the future holds for us, and if one day Heavenly Father impressed us that adoption would be right for our family, then we'd do it.)

So, in writing this, I kinda feel like an outsider to a beautiful thing; and I'm trying to tell you how beautiful and awesome it is without really knowing it personally. (Almost like trying to tell you what it's like to visit Rome after only reading travel brochures. I don't feel like I can do it justice or touch you the way others can who have been there.) But I do have quite a bunch of dear friends whose lives have been touch by adoption.  I know the love that has filled their hearts and made their families whole through adoption.  Anytime a friend tells me their positive experience with adoption, my heart just ... bursts (I'm not kidding, I really do feel like I have a mini-Independence-Day fireworks show going on in my chest.  I can't really explain it, but it feels good).  And so, to all of my incredible friends, I wanted to share a little something with you to celebrate National Adoption Month.  My hope is that families and persons who support adoption can be more than just those who are personally touched by it.

If you, or someone you know, has adopted a child or is looking to place a child with an adopted family, one of the kindest and EASIEST things you can do to support their family's decision to adopt is to use supportive words, often known as "Positive Adoption Language," or Respectful Adoption Language.  The words we use in conversation are powerful, and being kind in our words can build families and individuals up. Positive Adoption Language is not just for families or individuals directly affected by adoption; it's for everyone. A great friend sent me this document that recommends some potentially supportive language in place of potentially harmful language.


These are some friends' blogs or profiles who are searching for their child through adoption. Please pass along their blog/profile as they search for their family. (Also, if you are looking for your little one through adoption, I'd love to share your blog, button, profile, etc.  Just let me know!)

Shaun and Lanette

Chelsy and Brent

More adoption information can be found at It's About Love (facilitated through LDS Family Serivces) or Adoption.com

Life Updates

Life for the Neeleys is going pretty well; we're just plugging along.  I'm starting to slowly pack things for our big move.  The weather is cooling down, and the leaves are turning beautiful colors. Here's a few updates ...

Munchkin likes to read to Papoose while I make dinner; so sweet!

Papoose is excited to find her feet! How did they get so big???

Playing with blocks

House
This has been filled with drama since the last update, but we're still getting our dream house.  Maybe just a couple weeks later than we had hoped.  We had the inspection; and some things weren't up-to-par.
1)a Federal Pacific breaker box needed to be replaced.  Apparently they should have been recalled and are illegal now because they are a major fire hazard (more info here if you are curious: http://ismypanelsafe.com/)
2)we looked at utility costs, and they were ridiculously high... like over $400/month in the winter.  One of the culprets-- a 47 year old furnace.  yes, a furnace the same age as my father!  So we're going to replace it with a brand new high efficiency furnace.
3)the attic only had 6 inches of insulation (it's recommended to have about 16-19inches), and it was installed upside down. Along with some air sealing issues.  So were getting new insulation and air sealing.
So we worked some negotiating magic and the sellers were going to give us money to fix it ourselves (since they live out of state and couldn't come do it).  Well, we found out that's considered unethical in real estate sales... so we did some more negotiating magic and just offered less the cost of repairs, and are getting a 203K (loan that helps pay for home repairs that's rolled into the mortgage) to fix the repairs.  So in the end, our loan amount is the same, and the work still gets done, and the sellers still have the same amount of money after all is said and done that they would have if we had done the "unethical" first option. This way just involves a lot more paperwork.  boo paperwork! And we have to hire certified professionals; we can't do the work ourselves.

Don't they just look exasperated?

The drama extends when there was some miscommunication in getting the appraisal of the house.  Apparently we needed to get contracts from people to do the repair work before the appraisal could be done (but we didn't know this til after we thought the appraisal had been finished). So we frantically started trying to get quotes for the work, but September is the "busy month" for contractors, who don't seem to understand the urgency of we-need-this quote-asap-so-we-don't-lose-our-house-contract! (I forgive them. I do know they are busy; and I was being a bit crazy at the time.)  After 3 weeks of calling people EVERYDAY, we finally got quotes for all the work and got it to our loan officer.  Now things are moving forward again, but we are 3-4 weeks behind due to some lack of communication and really busy contractors.  Luckily, our buyers agent said there shouldn't be any problem with getting a two week extension, and our loan officer said we can expect to close in late October.

Girl talk time :-)

We are praying we close before the end of October, or we may be homeless for awhile because our apartment lease ends Oct. 31, and it's already rented out to someone else.  We know the Lord is watching out for us and things will work out for the best. I sometimes wish I could understand why, but that's the beauty of faith.  We don't get the answers until after we act in faith.  But I do know that things will work out better for having gone through this.

Munchkin

She thought my mascara was lipstick...

Munchkin is learning new things everyday; it amazes me how quickly she learns.  She's started to learn to count and her alphabet! More interesting, is to see how much like me she is becoming...
1)things she says: :"ummm, ... no!," "Let's get out of here, now!" (when it's time to go somewhere, especially church on sunday), "have fun!" (when saying goodbye)
2)little OCD tendencies: like lining things up in a neat line, starting to color in the lines (and getting mad if she messes up and then scribbles the whole thing and goes onto a new picture), things matching, etc.
3) trying to put on make up, brush her own hair, and help clean the house

Munchkin loves music and especially singing.  I think she gets it from her Nana. ;-) She sings Disney songs often.  Some of her favorites are "Hakuna Matata"  from The Lion King and "Keep Swimming" from Finding Nemo.  She also sings songs from nursery all the time.  Her favorites are "Popcorn Popping" and "The Wise Man and the Foolish Man." Other classic favorites are "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," "The Wheels on the Bus," and "Happy Birthday."  Only her version of "Happy Birthday goes like this:
"Birthday Cake you!
Birthday Cake you!
Happy Birthday Cake [grammsie, An' Mana (aunt amanda), mommy, etc]!
Birthday Cake you!"

my little artist concentrating really hard on making perfect 'nakes

re-hydrating after chasing the cross country team

Also, she wants to join the track team.  The high school boys cross-country team to be exact.  When we walk to the park in the afternoon, the boys' cross country team is usually practicing around the park.  She always runs after them and yells, "I wanna run! I run! I run!"  The boys think it's hilarious to be chased by a screaming toddler ... one of them may or may not have completely biffed it on a rock or tree root while chuckling to himself about it.

she loves puzzles!

Papoose

don't you love the hair?!

we love her crazy hair!

Papoose is possibly the happiest baby EVER! She is always happy and smiling and laughing. And growing so much!  She already wearing size 9 month clothes, at only 4 months old.  What happened to my little baby?!

playing with her favorite blocks from Gramsie and Papa Bear

The cutest smile I have EVER seen.

 She has gotten into an AWESOME sleep schedule.  She goes down for the night about 8 or 8:30pm.  Wakes at 11-ish to eat, then  goes right back to sleep until 4 or 5 am.  Eats and either goes back to sleep til 8am, or happily amuses herself while mommy gets a couple more hours of sleep. She's amazing.  I could brag about this baby all day!

Love this little girl! She is so much fun! (And I made that shirt.  Awesome, yes?) 

Mommy
 I'm going to turn a quarter of a century old next week. I will finally be able to rent a car on my own! Not that I will, or need to.  It's just one of the last passages into full-blown adulthood. Next year I will no longer qualify to be on my parent's health insurance, and then no one can tell me I'm still a "kid."  Right?  I mean, I'm married, have 2 babies of my own, have graduated college, and am buying a house.  When do I get to be considered "grown up" by society?  I've given up thinking that at some magical age about 5 years ago, I was supposed to have it all together and know all the answers like I thought my parents, grandparents, teachers, and other respected adults did.  Turns out, no body really has it all figured out. I just hope my kids think I do. ;-)

I've started getting allergy shots; grass hates me and wants me to die. the nurse had to dilute the grass test 3 times before I had an "acceptable" reaction (aka, one small enough to measure). I'm also allergic to anything that has pollen or fur. the nurse recommended i wear a respirator mask if i go outside in the spring. dr said i should never take up gardening; it could be considered a suicide attempt. i am NOT allergic to cockroaches or basement mold. :-)

see the HUGE red area? grass. it wants to kill me.

Daddy
Daddy is plugging along.  He enjoys his job as a web developer. We enjoy the paycheck he brings home. ;-)  The girls LOVE when he comes home from work.  Munchkin yells, "Daddy's home!" and tries to open the door for him. Papoose gives an ear-to-ear grin and squeals with delight while wildly "swimming" on her tummy on the floor.  Mommy gives him a kiss and says, "i'm SO glad you're home!" to which Daddy gives a sheepish grin and tells me it's ok.  He's the best.  Really, he is the BEST!
He misses playing hockey. He's sacrificing playing golf so we can buy our home. He plays racquetball 2-3 times per week before work with friends from work.
He's playing the piano more, and I love having music in our home.

this picture is from munchkin's birthday 5 months ago... i need more pictures of Brad.

We love to play games after the girls go to bed.  Our favorites lately have been Ticket to Ride: Europe, and Dominion.  We put the girls to bed between 8-9pm, and then tidy the house/kitchen and play games til 10pm or midnight, depending on when he has to wake up the next day.

Yep, we're loving life.  We feel so grateful to the Lord for our incredible blessings this past year!  When we decided last August that we needed to leave school and Utah and move across the country to live in Brad's parents' basement, we never imagined the blessings that would come from that leap of faith.  One year later, we have been blessed with another happy baby girl, a great job, great new friends, and are buying our first home.  The Lord has been SO good to our family.  Thank You, Lord, for our abundant blessings and teaching us what it really means to act in faith to receive the blessings of heaven raining down on us.

Parent Moments

had a few parent moments lately...

on monday, the girls and i were at the park when another mother pulled up and let her kids out of the car while she continued to sit in her car and smoke and listen to her ipod and ignore her children.  the boy (about 7? seemed roughly same age as the kids in my primary class at church)  was running around without a shirt on, and the girl (maybe 10?) was wearing shorts so small i could see her underwear.  the boy was singing over and over something disgustingly sexually explicit... i don't even want to repeat it.  i've never heard the song, and i never want to.  but he kept saying something about legs, kissing, and wetting the bed... ugh.  it was so gross!!!

this same boy was also horribly rude to his sister and called her names i won't repeat.  and on one occasion she tried to play a game with him-- who can swing higher on the swings-- and he flat out told her that because she was a girl it didn't matter what she did because she was ugly.  WHAT THE?!?!?! (for a more eloquent expression of my feeling on what he said, go check out http://www.beautyredefined.net/)

and just when i thought i could have any more disdain for this child who had NO RESPECT for women... he calls for my little munchkin to play with him on a pirate ship structure on the playground.  i don't stop her, but i do watch very carefully because i do NOT trust this kid or his mother who isn't paying any attention to her kids at all.   he takes her to the top of the ship and says, "hey, watch me. Don't do this!" and then shows my little 2 1/2 year old munchkin how to jump down this hole in the top of the structure into the bottom (about a 4-5 foot drop, and mind you, this drop-hole is hidden inside a smaller compartment that munchkin has never shown interest in, thankfully!  i didn't even know this hole existed until monday. i guess there used to be a fireman's pole from the top to the bottom, but it's missing now).  then from the bottom of the ship,  the boy yells, "you can't get me! Come and try to get me, %*##&!"
i had HAD IT!  I quickly put papoose back in the stroller, ran up this little playground to stop my munchkin just as she was about to crawl into this compartment and fall down the hole, and told her to NEVER go in there because I don't want her to get hurt.
perhaps i should have just left it at that... perhaps mamma bear was so frustrated at this boy's complete lack of respect for women or morals or safety that i lost it... but i screamed at someone else's child.  yes... i did.  i screamed at someone else's child, "Do NOT ever do that to my child again!  you do NOT show a small child how to do something that they shouldn't do. EVER!" at that moment, i guess the boy's mother wasn't ignoring her kids, because she got out of her car immediately and demanded to know why i was yelling at her kids. In a still outraged and raised voice, i explained what i had seen and said, "i don't appreciate what your son just taught my daughter because it could get her seriously hurt. i think you'd do the same for your own child in my postion."  and then she told her kids to get in the car and it was time to leave.

on another note-- today, i was listening and dancing to the wii game Just Dance 3 with my munchkin, and suddenly was hit with how... trashy and perverse the lyrics were in those songs.  we're getting rid of it.  we don't need sexually explicit "entertainment" in our home.  apparently my kids can get enough of that just going to the park...

( a less mature part of me congratulated myself on not criticizing this boy or his mother's morals to their face, and just sticking to the "safety issue"... but that's not the point i'm realizing right now... ugh... i even want to call myself a judgemental jerk right now; i sound like a self-righteous ninny. please don't judge me.  i know i shouldn't have yelled at someone else's kid.  i shouldn't have lost it on a complete stranger.  i feel terrible and am judging myself enough, so please.  i'm working on becoming a better person, and if i get the chance, i want to apologize to that mother.  i don't know what she's struggling with right now.  maybe she had a bad relationship with the kids' father, maybe she's trying to quit smoking, and the world's crashing in on her. maybe she stayed in her car for a moment's peace and some crazy self-righteous mother just slapped her in the face with what a terrible mom she already feels like.  i'm sorry other mother.  i shouldn't judge you, i'm sorry i did.  i pray that you have the strength to teach your kids the best you know how.)

what is it about being a mom that makes you hyper-aware/sensitive to things you believe 

are morally wrong? have any other moms had a similar experience?

Munchkin and Jesus

Sometimes, my little munchkin astounds me.  She's quick witted, insightful, serious, and downright hilarious all at the same time.  Here's just a few quick stories out of my journal about my munchkin and Jesus...

8/24/2012
today, while doing dishes, i noticed Munchkin was no longer in the living room.  I call for her and she yells back, "I'm here!" (I find her little voice is coming from in mom and dad's room).  I walk in to find her sitting up in bed, leaning casually back against the pillows (which are pilled on the bed all nicely because a potential renter is coming to see the apartment this afternoon) and she's completely engrossed in a book-- Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmadge.  I ask her, "whatcha doing, munchkin?"
she non-nonchalantly answers, "reading about Jesus," much in the manner you might expect an old man to answer had you just interrupted him reading the morning paper.

out of the mouth of babes!  my 2 year old has started to tackle that book and i haven't even ventured to try it yet.  it intimidates me... and now my toddler does, too.

i couldn't snap a picture soon enough...
as soon as she noticed what i was doing, she set the book down and smiled :-)
what a little ham!

8/19/12
while reading fro m our "picture scriptures" tonight, munchkin had her toy spatula with her. at one point she used the spatula to scoop up a spoonful of the picture of Jesus, and then said, "Yum! Good Jesus!"

yes, Jesus is good... but I'm not sure that's a judgement on how He tastes.

08/2012 (don't remember the exact day...)
munchkin picked up her toy hockey net and proceeded to carry it around the room on her shoulders (much like Christ is depicted as carrying the cross before the crucifixion).  we asked her what she was doing and she answered, "I'm Jesus!"

is that sacrilegious? should we be concerned about early-onset schizophrenia???

House Hunting

Brad's loving his job, and we're all loving the area.  Our apartment lease ends the last day of October. So we decided we make things here more permanent. We started looking at homes online back in June.  Mostly I just looked at specs and pictures, did research on neighborhoods (crime rates, checking sex offender lists, school districts, tax rates, etc), and created an excel spreadsheet of all the info for each house that I wanted to see. (address, asking price, forclosure?, price we're willing to pay, estimated value, beds, baths, year built, amenities, pros, cons, work needed, a rating 1-4 based on what we thought before we saw the house in person and after, and the school district it was in).  I showed it to Brad to make sure we were on the same page for what we wanted.  Then near the end of July, we contacted our buyers agent to go look at the list of houses I compiled.

We went on a Saturday to look at 8 of the houses, but time ran out and we only saw 6.  Of those, we liked 3 (really, we kinda liked 2 and LOVED 1).  The agent ran comparable sales on those 3 and arranged for us to visit 8 more homes on the following Wednesday.  Of the houses we saw on Wednesday, we kinda liked 2.  The rest were a bust, though one of them- while a nightmare of wallpaper and architecture- did make us laugh A LOT! (about mid-way down the stairs to the basement was a little door... we opened it to find a little "half bath" the size of an airplane lavatory... it might have been smaller than an airplane lavatory. we about died laughing.)

When comparable sales came back, of the 4 we kinda liked, the asking price was way inflated.  We knew it would be a fight to get a loan that the sellers would accept and the bank would approve. But on our dream house, the house we LOVED.... the asking price was below comparable sales without even considering the  amenities-- like the fully applianced kitchen!  Only drawback was the asking price was at the very top end of our price range... We decided to put in an aggressive and low offer since no one else had put in an offer yet and it had been on the market for awhile (though we both agreed we'd be willing to pay asking price if it came down to it, since it was still such a great investment at asking price).  The next morning we got a call that someone else put in an offer that morning, so we had to give our best and final offer.  UGH! We decided to do asking price-- a price that really was our best offer, but if it didn't get accepted, we could walk away knowing it was our best offer with no regrets.

We got a call the next morning saying-- WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!

I was stunned.  I spent the next 24 hours riding an emotional roller coaster... rapidly shifting from, "Oh my goodness! We are getting our dream house! YAY!" to "What?! We're getting a house?! Are we crazy?  Will I be able to keep it clean? Is this really the house we want? Did we just make a mistake?!"  But after lots of prayer and re-writing our budget and writing a cleaning schedule, we're both super excited and happy!

This house is perfect for us- now and for the next 30+ years.  I told Brad after we saw it the first time-- I could see us growing old in this house. raising our kids here. Inviting friends over; holding youth activities here (since Brad is the Young Men's President in our ward). Our kids bringing their friends over after school and hanging out in the basement.  Our kids coming home for the holidays and bringing grandkids to visit. We both want to have a house that can be the "safe house" for our kids and their friends, and this house could be just that. We're so happy that we could find a house that perfectly fits our family and our long-term family goals so early in life.  We feel incredibly blessed!

I'm going to wait to post pictures until after closing (which we expect to be sometime in early to mid October). And once we get moved in and mostly unpacked, we'll throw a house warming party! :-)

PS-- we're looking for moving boxes! All donations accepted. :-)
PPS-- we will accept offers to help clean (both the apartment we are moving out of, and the house we're moving into-- there's some spiders that need to be evicted from the basement before we move in since the house has been empty for awhile.)

Ok, I'l give you one picture-- it's of the front-outside of the house from the website we first saw it posted on.

I am so ridiculously excited!

1 Month

Our Baby Ruthe is 5 weeks old!  Time is just flying, and she is growing like a weed!

Stats
weight: 10 lbs. 2 oz
length: 21.5 inches
head circumference: 14 7/8inches

Milestones
Papoose can roll over!!! She started doing it at 3 weeks and 2 days old.  We thought it was a fluke, but she's kept doing it!  I've lost count of the number of times she has rolled over tummy to back.  She hasn't rolled from back to tummy yet, but trust me, she's trying!

She also loves to kick her legs wildly during tummy time, resulting in scooting across the floor by up to a couple feet and/or rotating around in a spot.  More than once I have left her in one room to go to another room, only to come back a few minutes later and she's rolled over, facing a different direction, and a foot or so from where I left her.

If she's moves this much as a newborn, I wonder what adventures she'll take me on once she learns to crawl and walk!

Rolling over is usually preceded by Papoose getting a little angry about being left on her tummy. :-(

Sleep habits
She's sleeping GREAT!  She goes to sleep between 9pm and 10pm usually.  A couple times she's kept us up til 11pm, but it's usually on a weekend, so no worries.  She'll wake up to eat once, usually between 3am and 5am, and then go right back to sleep until about 7am or 8am.  A few times, she has slept through the night, but I still wake up to pump milk those nights.  So I don't get any better sleep when she sleeps through the night, but hey-- I've got a 1 month old with incredible sleep habits.  I love it!

don't you just LOVE sleeping babies???

Sister Love

Munchkin adores her Baby Ruthe!  I love to see how much love and concern Munchkin has for Papoose.  When Papoose is sleeping, Munchkin will go to her bed and just watch her sleep for a few minutes and say, "Baby Ruthe sleeping.  Baby Ruthe pretty sleeping."

When Papoose is on the floor for tummy time, Munchkin will lay down next to her and insist that she have tummy time, too.  Munchkin also likes to show Papoose her toys.  Sometimes, Munchkin asks me to put Papoose in the stroller so she can take her for a walk, and Munchkin insists on pushing Baby Ruthe. I love that Munchkin wants to play with Papoose!

tummy time for both my babies

playing on the floor

sharing the dinosaurs

going for a walk... Papoose fits in the doll stroller!

Munchkin is a bit possessive of the blankets in the house... i've noticed she has started accumulating them in her room.  When Papoose is wrapped in a blanket, no matter what blanket, Munchkin tells us that it is her "blanken" and she wants it.  Most of the time we tell her that she needs to share that blankets, and everything is ok.  But if Munchkin is tired, we've been known to having minor crying fits about who's blanket it is.

Munchkin: "i love you, baby ruthe, but this is my blanket, so i'm taking it back while you sleep."

At bedtime after saying prayers, we do something like a family huddle cheer-- we all put hands in the middle and shout, "Love ya!" (it's something Brad did growing up, so we do it in our family, too).  From day 1, Munchkin has insisted that Baby Ruthe do "love-loves" also. And then she gives Papoose a hug a kiss, even if mommy is trying to feed Papoose at the moment, which makes things awkward. I must admit, that one of the greatest joys I have found as a mommy is seeing how much my girls love each other.  It just makes my heart all warm and fuzzy!

can you say, "awe!"

more kisses...

sweet-ness!

And before I mislead anyone into thinking our home is always picture perfect and peaceful... Proof that the Neeley house isn't always full of rainbows, sunshine, and smiles...

Big sister trying to make little sister be quiet... feel the love?

sometimes, Munchkin likes to "ruthe roll in blanken"... Papoose doesn't enjoy this game very much, yet.

Looks like typical sisters to me!

Munchkin and Papoose really are average siblings that argue, fight, tease, annoy, etc... but in the end, they love ever other so much!

No matter how much they bicker, they really love each other!

Interior Decorating

I've always wanted an interior decorator to help me make my home look pretty.  So when Baby Ruthe was born, I decided to finally hire one...

She is quite expensive though. 3 meals per day plus snacks, room and board for the next 16(+) years, LOTS of attention, clothes, hygiene maintenance, hugs and kisses and cuddle time, responsibility for her education and well-being physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, etc....

Here's some of her budding "portfolio" of work she has done for our home! (please forgive the sideways pics, I can't seem to fix them.)

the office: so much more efficient to gather toys in the office where mom works on stuff during the day instead of playing in her own room

Daddy always says, "out of sight, out of mind," and complains of not playing games often enough, so if he wants to play more games, they must be in plain sight-- in the middle of the hallway floor!

the bathroom was looking kind of plain, so our interior decorator added some art to the bathtub (using washable bathtub crayons, of course!)

after a busy day's work, the artist needs a break to watch "Elmo Street on the teebee"

I'm impressed with her talent!  As per our agreement, I try and give her a fresh slate to work with and practice her work each day... I feel like I've been slacking on my end of the deal lately.  Luckily, my family and friends are pretty forgiving.

Birth Story: The Ruthe Maedean Edition

Can I just begin by saying that I've never been so glad to be proven wrong about almost everything?!

Sunday morning, I woke up just like any other Sunday around 7am.  Used the bathroom and started taking a shower to get ready for church.  During the shower I started feeling a bit "crampy."  After the shower I asked Brad the time.  I started to notice that the "cramps" were coming kind of like waves and wanted to start timing them.  After getting dressed, putting on make-up, and doing my hair, I'd had 5 more waves of cramps, all consistently 3 minutes apart. I let Brad know that I was starting to time what "I think might be contractions" before he got in the shower while I started making breakfast and waking up Munchkin.

Shortly after 8am, Brad got picked up to go to his early morning church meetings.  He told me to call the dr and see if I really was having contractions and what I should do.  I told him I'd do that after giving Munchkin a bath and getting her ready for church.  By the time I called the dr, my "waves of cramps" happened at consistent 2 minute intervals and the dr wanted me to come to the hospital to get checked.  I called Brad and told him what the dr said, but that I think we could go to church first... I mean, it was the day BEFORE my due date.  I'd had 1 false alarm a few days before my due date with munchkin and had been sent home; so I wasn't convinced this was the real deal.  Besides, I wasn't having real contractions... I remembered those were the most horrible, painful, tear-inducing things ever when I was induced with munchkin. This was just some crampy feeling...

Well, Brad was waiting outside for me to pick him up when I got to the church.  Some dear friends of ours had also just arrived and we told them what was happening, so they insisted on taking Munchkin and her carseat "just in case."

We arrived at the hospital about 10am, the nurses were busy giving twin boys circumcisions and the dr was on the phone.  We just waited ... and waited... and waited.  The dr finally noticed us and took us to a room and left.  The nurse came in and asked who I was, I told her, and she didn't believe I was the one who'd called saying I was having contractions every 2 minutes.  But she agreed to check me anyway after I told her that on Thursday the dr had determined that I was "at 3cm but easily stretched to 4 or 5cm."  She asked if i had a guess where I was, I said maybe 4cm, if I'm lucky.

I was already 6cm!  I was shocked!!!  Needless to say, so were the nurses and dr.  The dr told me the next time he came in that he didn't believe I was in labor when i showed up. They also assured me that I was getting admitted; this wasn't a "false alarm". I just wanted to keep walking around and felt fine, but they insisted on keeping me in bed for at least an hour to do some monitoring. Baby Ruthe was having some slight deceleration in her heart rate after contractions, so I couldn't have intermittent monitoring, and I had to have an IV.  Bleh. After an hour of fluids and monitoring I was dilated to 7cm, and Ruthe's heart rate was stabilizing, so they let me get up and move around on the condition that I stay hooked up to the IV and external monitors (giving me about 3 sq. feet to roam in).

yummy orange Popsicle! dilated to about 6 or 7 cm

Brad and I played a game of canasta while I sat on a "birth ball", pausing during contractions so he could apply counter pressure to my lower back and I could focus on relaxing and breathing. By 1pm, I was at 8cm and my contractions were starting to feel more intense.  I asked the nurse if it was too late for the epidural... I knew 8-10cm was supposed to be the "hardest part of labor" and I was having vivid memories of the pain I felt when induced with Munchkin.  Even though the intense pressure and cramping I was feeling now was nothing compared to then, I was starting to get really scared that it would become like that after it was "too late."  Brad and the nurses were amazingly supportive and kept telling me how great I was doing and that they didn't think I needed one. Brad encouraged me to keep going, reminding me that I can do this contraction and that was all that mattered for the next 30 seconds.  He would also remind me that each wave of pressure was like a message from our sweet baby Ruthe that said, "I'm so excited to meet my mommy and daddy!" I crawled in bed at this point and, laying on my side, had to devote all my energy to staying relaxed and calm.  Brad never left my side.  He was a wonderful and supportive coach-- feeding me ice chips and popcicles, holding my hand, wiping my forehead, keeping me calm, applying counter pressure to my lower back.  Seriously, I have the best husband ever!

I stalled out at 8cm for a couple hours, which was really disappointing.  The nurse told us that the dr wanted to break my water, and asked if I was ok with that.  I said yes, but wanted to walk around some more and use the bathroom.  That's all it took to fully dilate, "except for a tiny bit on the right side" before the dr got there. I was feeling lots of pressure and wanted to start pushing.  He broke my water and told me to push when I was ready.  After 1 contraction, all I heard was "push! push! she's here!" So I pushed again and heard my baby's first squeals!

Ruthe Maedean Neeley
5/27/12
8 lbs. 3 oz, 19 inches

My first thoughts-- "wow! she's pretty chunky! how did I just do that?!"
The dr commented on how I was probably the "strongest pusher he's ever met"... Brad later explained to me that the dr wasn't telling me to "push," but rather "wait! don't push! stop pushing!" as he was trying to re-position Ruthe so I wouldn't tear... but I pushed so hard that I tore anyway and he couldn't stop me.  Oops! I'll need to work on that next time.

Happy mommy and "papoose"

It was an incredible birth experience.  I had to allow some things that I would have rather done without-- like the IV instead of just a heplock, and constant monitoring instead of intermittent, and more freedom to move around.  But overall, I feel like it was amazing! I felt amazing for hours after she was born; like I could go home right then.

I have to say I'm a huge fan of natural childbirth now.  Having been induced and gotten an epidural, and now having had a "natural birth", I can say I think natural childbirth is amazing.  I'd like to send out a quick "thank you" to a couple friends that inspired/convinced me to give it a shot-- Adele and Emily.  I read their blogs and birth stories (Emily actually made 3 posts but i only linked to the 1st one), and both recommended some books. (Thanks for sharing your stories, Adele and Emily!) I chose to read one of them, called Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method.  I highly recommend it for anyone interested in trying natural childbirth.  When I read it, I thought he sounded a bit hokie.  But I tried it.  And he was right. (There's classes, too, but I just read the book.) Much of the pain associated in childbirth can be alleviated if we can train our minds and bodies not to work against itself during labor.  It is tough-- it's called "labor" because it's hard-- but it doesn't need to be harder than nature intended to get the baby out.  It was tough, and it was painful, but it was also incredibly rewarding to essentially surrender my whole body to the natural process of birth. The difference between this birth and munchkin's is like night and day! I would do it all over again... but I'll wait a couple years.  ;-)

Super-Dad! and Best Husband Ever!

The Waiting Game

so... i never posted this, and it seems silly now, but i'll post it anyway.

Well, I'm over 39 weeks... so now it's just the waiting game.

I totally intended to have a "real" belly picture... but silly Ruthe came  too soon and I never took one.  So you'll have to make due with this picture from when I was 37 weeks and went to the zoo.  :-)

Just a few hours before she was born-- it's my HUGE belly picture!

She's due May 28th, and the drs will induce me at one week overdue, or June 4.  What's your guess when our sweet little girl will arrive? (ok, it's a bit late to ask this question...)

At my 38 week appointment, I saw the doctor and found out that I'm already 3cm dilated and 50% effaced.  I told the doctor that I knew it didn't mean anything about when labor would start because I was dilated to 4cm and 60% to 80% effaced for 3 weeks with munchkin (heck, I'm further behind than the first time!)... for once, the doctor told me, "You're right.  It doesn't really mean anything about when labor will start.  Except that you're that much further ahead when you do get induced if that's what needs to happen in 3 weeks."  Finally, a doctor who listened to me and trusted that I know MY body better than he does!  (If I have to be induced, I'm specifically going to ask to get induced on a day when this dr is on-call!) (or i really don't know my own body that well... I seriously thought I was going to get sent home for false labor that day...)

At my 39 week appointment, I was still 3cm, but "very soft and stretchy".  What's more awkward?  The dr telling me this WHILE checking me and saying, "I can even stretch you to 4... or 5cm."

COMING SOON!  The Birth Story of Ruthe Maedean Neeley.