Recapturing Beauty FINAL Challenge

This was held in the Wilk. Talk about a powerful challenge! When I arrived with munchkin in her stroller, I felt surrounded by beauty. All these incredible women who were going through the same challenges I was for the past 10 days, all of us rediscovering or "recapturing" our beauty. I could jsut feel the excitement! I got my t-shirt, and munchkin and I sat at the outside of the group, mostly so munchkin would have room to wiggle around on the floor and play.

We were given 10 dots, and on them we wrote the "labels" that we felt we or others put on us. Then we put the labels on us. I can't tell you how... ashamed... I felt. Munchkin was looking at me all confused and started trying to take them of of me. They started reading the children's story You Are Special by Max Lucado. But I saw munchkin the whole time. Looking at me funny and trying to take off my dots. I kept telling her, "no, munchkin. Don't take off mommy's dots. They need to stay on her."

wow. What was munchkin seeing? I was her beautiful mommy, devaluing herself. She knew those shouldn't be on me. She tried taking them off. But I wouldn't let her. Man, how often have I refused to let go of a negative label? Do I really "need" it? What am I teaching Naomi by defeneding my negative self-image? Do I want her to learn to do the same thing?
NO!

I want to teach her that she is beautiful. because she is. I want to teach her that her worth can't be taken away from her. that she will always be beautiful. even when she's small right now. even when she hits puberty in 3rd grade, like I did. even when she has acne. even when she is told that she isn't by stupid boys, or magazines, or tv shows, or anyone else. But how can I teach her that if I don't believe it about myself? what kind of hypocrite will I be if I expect her to always know that she is beautiful, if I can't show her how to believe it? That's why I'm beautiful now.

After reading the story, we went one by one and removed the labels. Thank you, WSR, for such a great challenge. We need to let go of those labels and stops justifying them, defending them, believing them, I let munchkin take off the ones on my face, slobber all over them, and drop them. They will never stick to me again. Because I'm beautiful. Because I know I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. He loves me. Because Jesus Christ is my Savior and He died for me. He loves me.
I am BEAUTIFUL!

Recapturing Beauty Day 9: Connect

Take a nap, go for a walk, get a massage, take a bubble bath, or anything else that helps you appreciate and connect with your body.

Wow. I really am kinda brutal to my body. Not just mentally and emotionally, but physically too. I keep myself so busy and I don't get many chances to relax and "connect with my body" in a positive way. I carried munchkin to the library and my back was killing me! Then we had bowling, and I could hardly throw the ball because my back hurt so much. But I have a wonderful husband that would give me between bowling shoulder rubs. Such a sweety!

That evening, before bed, I did yoga for about 30 minutes. It always makes me feel SO GOOD! It's relaxing, challenging, and enjoyable. I use the Wii Fit to do the yoga, but I don't use the weighing feature on the game anymore because it always made me feel terrible about myself. Now I enjoy doing an activity that in high school I thought was only for vegetarians and hippies. Boy, was I wrong!

My great hubby then gave me a back rub as I fell to sleep. Seriously; he's the best! He can always remind me that I'm beautiful when I forget. Thanks, babe!

I am trying to stay beautiful.

Recapturing beauty Day 8: Mindfullness

Pay attention to your thoughts today. Ask yourself: "Is what I'm thinking really true?" Practice challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with more truthful ones.

thought: "I'm so fat."
truth: I'm overweight according to health charts, but I am active and I eat healthy. My body feels good, so I should feel good about it.

thought: "I've got double wide hips."
truth: well, the above might be true, but I just gave birth 6 months ago, and having those double wide hips really helped. And my husband loves them, so I should love them, too.

thought: "I'm such a horrible mommy for (fill in the blank, anything I'm not perfect at)."
truth: I love my munchkin and will do anything for her. I'm quitting my private tutoring job so she is well cared for and Brad can work more at his job. She is the center of every day. I may not be perfect, but I'm the perfect mommy for munchkin. And where I fall short, I can call on my Savior Jesus Christ to help me where I feel weak.

thought: "I hate utah and want to move back east. NOW!"
truth: I hate living so far away from family. I miss them so much! I'm excited for that time in our lives after Brad graduates and gets a job and we move, and I REALLY hope it's closer to our families.

thought: "I must not be feeding munchkin enough because she's so small!"
truth: She's health and growing slowly but consistently. She's very happy and smart. She's perfect.

thought: "I love my family so much!"
truth: I love my family so much!

thought: "I'm a failure because I couldn't get a teaching job."
truth: I applied everywhere within a 1 hr commute where I was qualified. I spent 10-30 hrs/week applying for jobs over the summer. But at the end of the day, I'm a good mommy, and the Lord has blessed us by meeting our needs so far. I'm very lucky to get to take care of munchkin and not need a babysitter.

thought: "I'm trying to be beautiful, but I don't know if I ever will be."
truth: I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love Him. I am beautiful in His eyes. I am beautiful in my husband's eyes. I am beautiful in my daughter's eyes. I am beautiful.

Not all of my thoughts are untruthful. Some I'm totally off base, and some are just a little off the mark. When I say something negative, there is almost always a more positive truth that I can replace it with.

Recapturing Beauty Day 7: No Media

No movies, TV, magazines, or internet surfing today. Instead, take time to tune into nature and be in touch with your inner self.

Since this was a Sunday, this was really easy. What else can I say? But I didn't exactly get to "tune into nature." Brad and I have terrible hay-fever, and Brad and I are worried that munchkin does, too. When we go out, he eyes get kinda puffy and red and she sneezes a lot for the rest of the day. Plus, it was raining.

I did get to go visit one my best friends and her new husband on Sunday. We played Killer Bunnies and had lots of fun.

You know what though,this prompt reminds me of a prompt for my Young Women's camp journal a while back. We were supposed to sit in the woods, read the First Vision of Joseph Smith, contemplate nature, pray to know the Book of Mormon was true, and then write our expereinces. Another year, we read the creation story in the Bible, along with the Joseph Smith Translation and the Book of Moses in the Pearl of Great Price, then pray expressing gratitude for the earth, and write about our experiences. Both times, I'm pretty sure I was distracted by the mosquitoes and worried about ticks and snakes. But I'm thinking about them now, wishing I had my camp journal with me.

Heavenly Father created our bodies. They are His creation, and I am so grateful for mine. I was designed perfectly for what I need my body for in this life. Wow! I want to remember that.

My body is perfect for its creation, because it was designed by a perfect and loving Father in Heaven. It is beautiful. I am beautiful.

Recapturing Beauty Day 6: No Fat Talk

Refrain from talk about weight or shape, of self or others. Be aware of how often you compare yourself to others. How does it make you feel?

Wow. I didn't realize how MUCH we always talk about weight, shape, appearance. It has really blown my mind. I thought about it most of the day, and it is ALWAYS there. I'm floored. stunned. Now, not all of it was comparative or negative. A few times, it was to point out a person in a group. But really, we always pick out a defining physical appearance trait to describe a person.

"Your new visiting teacher; she's that one tiny girl over there, dark hair, pulled back."
"She's super tall, very skinny, blonde hair."
"She's a ... bigger woman. Over there, holding a baby."

I was at a Relief Society luncheon, and the question going around the table was "What did you think of your husband the first time you saw him? Was it love at first sight?" It was tough to get around that one!

Or the hardest one. Talking about babies! Man, talking about babies is one big weight and shape conference. Everything is about how much the baby weighs, how long (s)he is, comparing one baby to another. And I'm just as guilty as the next person. Goodness, my facebook status right now is my munchkin's weight and height stats at her 6 month checkup. Are we mommy's obsessed, or what? I found myself telling my husbands about babies that I see at the library, and it's always something like, "That baby was huge! 4 months old and wearing 9-12 month size clothes!" or even my own munchkin. her nickname is even a product of her size-- she's tiny. 5th %itle. I can't help but think that our obsession with weight, shape, and size are all instill in us from the moment we are born, and reinforced our entire lives. The first thing a person asks after a baby is born is "how much did (s)he weigh?" ok, maybe not the first. it might come after "is it a boy or girl?" and "what's his/her name?" but the point is, form birth, we start labeling people based on their weight/size/shape.

I can see it happening already to naomi. she's going to be a healthy, happy, prehaps small girl growing up. then she's going to hit puberty and start gaining weight in awkward places, and she'll likely hit puberty sooner than other girls like her mommy did. it'll start with a parent or grandparent, or well meaning dr.,or a number of other people who will remark on how she's gotten so big. she's putting on a little pudge. she needs to exercise more, she needs to eat less or more healthy, she needs to diet. she needs to get out of the house and play so she stops gaining weight. that's right. i said "stops gaining weight." as she gets older, she'll get more curves. with her genetic donation from me, and her daddy, she'll have a larger body structure, fuller hips, a larger chest, and that number on the scale will never be low enough.

how do i know this? because it's what happened to me.
one summer, i remember being a happy, healthy 8 year old girl. i asked grandma for some oreos after school. mom usually gave me 4, but grandma gave me 2. i asked for more. and she said no, because i was gaining weight. she said i ate too many snacks and didn't exercise enough, and that's why i was gaining weight. NOT that I needed a training bra because I hit puberty early. NOT that she just thought 2 cookies was enough and it was bad for my teeth. but because i was simply gaining weight.

the next summer, we went to a swimming place, one with water slides and a lazy river thing. I only had a 2 piece bathing suit. grandma told me i shouldn't wear a 2 piece because I was "too big" to wear one and had gained too much weight to wear one. NOT because it's immodest and i should respect my *beautiful* body by being modest, but because I heard I was too fat to look good in one.

the countless times that people compared me to my younger sister, who was still a happy, healthy, skinny child while i was hitting puberty and gaining weight on my thighs and butt, and needed a bra. "why cant you get out and exercise? your sister isn't gaining weight."

all though high school, if I'd forgotten to do a chore and was watching a tv show, or if I ate more than was proper, I'd be told that if i ate any more I'd get bigger than a house and not be able to walk through the front door. it didn't matter that the only food in house was fast food, hostess and little debbie cakes, ice cream, soda pop, hot dogs, burgers, pizza. that there were no fresh veggies or fruits. it didnt matter that i'd be called ungrateful if i didn'teat what was at home and be forced to eat it in front of the family. it didn't matter that i tried after countless meals to throw up, wished i could, but could never successfully make myself gag. it didnt matter that i would give away most of my lunch at school, that i would work out after school for 2 hrs and go to so many after school activities that i wouldn't have time to eat. "if you keep eating like that you'll get so fat you won't be able to get out of bed in the morning; is that what you want?" but all i heard was "if you keep eating you'll keep getting fat."

and it's taken me until now to understand what happened. how damaging talking about weight and size and shape to our children can be. some girls never realize that it's just because they hit puberty early. that their bodies are changing, but they are still beautiful. how many lives could we have saved from eating disorders if we had told our daughters, sisters, etc that they are beautiful while their bodies are changing? if the center olf nearly every conversation didnt revolve around what we look like? i plan on telling my daughter everyday, how beautiful she is. because she is my daughter. because she is a daughter of a Heavenly Father, who loves her perfectly. even when we need to go bra shopping for the first time (which i know will be sooner than i want it to be). even when she's frustrated that her pants don't fit "right", or the way they used to. because she IS BEAUTIFUL.

well, this became something i wasn't expecting... i'm trying to be beautiful.

Recapturing Beauty Day 5: Exercise

So, I failed today. I planned on going swimming all day at the byu pool, which is only open 8-10pm. And I missed it. Hoping I can go tomorrow, but not sure if I'll have the time. I'm babysitting for a friend about 9:30-ish, then going to a RS luncheon at 1pm, then to the temple hopefully by 3:30pm... and I need to watch a movie I rented from the library and return it before the library closes at 6pm. The pool is open 1pm-10pm on Saturday.... I think. Busy day tomorrow. But I did go for a beautiful morning and afternoon walk to the library for Book Babies. Love it!!! If I can get my swim in tomorrow, I'll just mark my challenge as "late" and get docked 20%. um, 20% of what? beautiful points? i sure hope that's not the case! :-p

But I've been contemplating tomorrow's challenge a lot, and I'm ready for it! I'm not going to talk about weight or shape of myself, or others. I'm not going to engage in the destructive practice of comparing myself to others. I'm going to feel and be beautiful.

Recapturing Beauty Day 4

How much time do you spend getting ready each day? Today, use the same amount of time to get ready on the inside; mediate, write in your journal, or preform and act of service, etc.

Thursday, Oct. 7, 2010
It depends on the day, and what your definition of ready is... this morning, I had to tutor some amazing girls in Lehi. I rolled out of bed with a pounding headache at approx. 8am, took a shower, got dressed, fed the munchkin, brushed my hair, helped Brad find a contact that he dropped on the bathroom floor, ate a bowl of cereal, found my dead cell phone and hooked it to the charger, and moved laundry to the dryer, all before leaving the house to go tutor at 9:30am. Some days, I never leave the house and take care of munchkin all day and never get out of my pajamas.

I love having something to do each day, especially in the morning, because it makes me get up and I always feel more productive when I do. I like myself more when I feel productive; but at the same time, I struggle to feel like a good mom if I am productive around the house at the expense of spending time with my munchkin. Do I wash dishes, do laundry, vacuum, tidy up take out the trash, make dinner, and clean the bathroom while munchkin rolls around in her crib, or sits in her baby center and cries, or do I read to her, and take her for a walk and talk to her about everything she sees, and roll on the floor and laugh with her, tickle her tummy, and play with her? It's tough to do it all. And I've never been able to fit it all in one day, even though I feel the pressure to do so. I guess the simple answer is to do a little of both. I've always been one of those just-get-to-it-and-finish-it-all-at-once kinda of people. Having a baby has realy made me aave to change that; and it's something I'm still working on.

Tomorrow's challenge is to workout for fun, even if it makes me self-conscious of my body. But since I likely won't get the chance tomorrow, tonight I'm going to go to Zumba at BYU. Tomorrow after Brad gets back from class, we are driving to California for Brady and Tami's reception (Brad's the Best Man). Yay for long car rides with Munchkin! It's going to be a roughly 10-11 hr drive, one-way. And we need to be back by Sunday at 5pm to have dinner at Brad's Aunt June's house. We're gearing up for a whorl-wind weekend!

I'll have lots of updates about my weekend and the challenge when I get back next week. Just so I remember-- tomorrow is exercise for dun day (which I'm kinda cheating and doing tonight instead), Saturday is No Fat Talk day, and Sunday is No Media day. I want to remember these and stick to this recapturing beauty challenge, even though I'll be gone this weekend. I know that I've been feeling great the past few days. I'm feeling more beautiful each day; and I hope you are too! Now to take a walk with the munchkin to the library. We love that place; especially on Friday mornings at 10am for Book Babies!

I'm trying to be beautiful.

Thursday, Oct. 14, 2010
today, I cleaned the house. Washing ALL the laundry (4 loads including all the towels), folding and hanging up laundry, making beds, re-arranging furniture, vacuuming, dishes, cleaning the stove and sink, and making dinner. all while taking care of munchkin. tho, i must admit, she made it easy by taking a nearly 4 hour nap this afternoon! I always feel better after cleaning. In fact, i think one of my favorite feelings ever is working really hard to clean the house and then being able to sit down with a smoothie and just sit. enjoying a clean home. it feels so refreshing to work so hard to clean and then sit and enjoy the fruits of my labors. i realize these moments will become much less frequent as munchkin grows older, more mobile and active. but for now, i'm enjoying my clean home!

it makes me feel beautiful-- inside and out.

ps: I was very sad that there was no zumba today... i'd really like to go, but for the past month, there's always been something fall through. 1 week i got sick the night before after going swimming, the next week it was cancelled for stephanie neilson's talk, last week the instructor didn't show up after many of us waited around for 15-20 minutes. and this week, it just isn't scheduled. next week, it's at 9pm. hoping i can go then. anyone want to come with me?

Recapturing Beauty Day 3

List 10 things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with your appearance,then list 10 things you like about your appearance.

Wow! This was tough, but I did it! My lists are in no particular order.

Nothing to Do With My Appearance
1. I'm a mommy to the most wonderful little girl on the planet! I love my munchkin!
2. I'm married to the most wonderful, patient, and loving man on the planet! Lovies to Brad!
3. I graduated from Brigham Young University, 3 days after munchkin was born, and I still walked.
4. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I've been blessed to go the the temple and be sealed to my wonderful family for time and all eternity.
5. I can change a diaper in less than 30 seconds.6. I get to spend my days with munchkin, playing with her and teaching her all about this world and the gospel.
7. My memory is pretty great... but also pretty selective. I can remember things I learned in elementary school, high school, and college very clearly; but other times I can start walking to the bathroom, and forget I had to go and start doing dishes and making dinner.
8. I can make Brad and Naomi laugh, even though it's at me being silly. I like being silly if it makes them smile and laugh.
9. I get to work with kids all the time, helping them learn! I LOVE teaching kids of all ages. I get paid to do what I love-- teach!
10. I'm a big sister to 2 awesome little sisters, and an amazing little brother. I love those kids!

My Appearance
1. My eyes. They are an interesting combination of colors, and I think they are pretty.
2. I'm not hairy. I don't have to pluck my eyebrows, or wax a hairy upper lip, and I only need to shave my legs once every couple of weeks. It's great.
3. I can hold munchkin on my hips easily. And being pregnant was actually pretty comfortable until 38 weeks, thanks to the family hips. I wasn't grateful for them until recently, but now I am oh-so-grateful for them.
4. I can feed my daughter. How awesome is it that I don't have to make a bottle when she's hungry; I can just feed her. At least for a few more months anyway. Some women have a very tough time with breastfeeding, but it's been great for me! (Does this count for appearance? I know breastfeeding has definitely affected my appearance!)
5. my hands. I think they are cute and small, and I like my hands. They do so much for me!
6. I have long "monkey toes." It helps when I need to pick something up but am holding munchkin and can't bend down to get it with a hand.7. I think I have 1 wrinkle... but it's from smiling. And when I'm smiling, you can't tell. So I like to smile a lot. :-)
8. I think the shape of my face is pretty.
9. I've never needed braces because my teeth are naturally pretty straight. yay for no braces!
10. I have strong and healthy fingernails.

11 (bonus). Brad and I made one very VERY cute little munchkin. She got all the best traits from me and Brad and is the epitome of beautiful, inside and out. I love my little munchkin!

And since i have such an amazing husband, and had already done my lists last week, he made a list of 10 thigns he likes about me not related to my appearance, and 10 things he likes about my appearance. what a sweetie! in case i every have trouble remembering why i should love myself, i've always got him.

Not Related to My Appearance (from Brad)
1. I love the respect that you show me even when I'm not around. You value my opinions and never talk bad about me to others when it is tempting to because of something dumb I do or when your friends or peers complain about their husbands.
2. I love your spirituality. You are so close to the spirit in receiving direction when tough choices or trials befall you/us. YOu help motivate me to do better things with my life everyday.
3. I love your ability to be a mother. You're not afraid and always kind and patient with our daughter. She will learn great things from you that she will use for her own parenting skills.
4. I love your uncanny ability to remember things from out of nowhere.
5. I love your tired remarks as we travel: "Oh look! There's horsies; they're not cows!" and "I love the feel of photosynthesis in the morning!" and "Look! a rocketship... in utah!"
6. I love that you love to be clean and like to clean around the house. I really appreciate it when you randomly get into your super-cleaning mode.
7. I lvoe your unconditional love towards your family and mine. The ability to love, not matter what, and show it, is rare these days.
8. I love your ability to forgive me when I do stupid stuff.
9. I love your interest in education. If you lacked anything at all from your current level , I might not be doing what I am in school. You are a great motivation for me. Your interest in education will also help our children do great things in their lives.
10. I love your interest in politics. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't give a darn about them. As you have explained the issues to me and why they are important, I have gained an interest to the point where I might actually vote next time.

My Appearance (from Brad)
1. I love your smiles; ranging from "i'm sweet and innocent" to showing joy around Naomi to just just smiling because you're happy.
2. "i like big butts and I cannot lie..." Yours is perfection.
3. I love your body size. I love being able to rough house with you and not worry too much about hurting you.
4. I love the distribution of your body shape. Your curves are dangerous!
5. I love your breasts.
6. I love your beautiful legs. I really do. Especially when they are tightly wrapped up in your jeans or shorts.
7. I love your red hair, even though it's dyed. It's so beautiful and makes you gorgeous.
8. I love your beautiful blue/rusty eyes. I wish I could just stare into them forever.
9. I love your hands. They scratch my back and head so well, as well as give great shoulder and back massages.
10. I love how you look in the clothes we buy you and the smile it brings to your face when you actually find something in the store that fits you and you love it. It makes me smile for days.

Recapturing Beauty Day 2

Search the definition of beauty in the scriptures. How does this definition differ from the one our culture promotes?

Monday, October 5, 2010
This is really long... This is my answer to the challenge question, below are my notes from searching and studying the scriptures to understand beauty. You don't have to read them, I just want to keep them for my own purposes.

After searching the scriptures, I've felt and overwhelming Love from my Father in Heaven and a greater understanding of what it means to truly be a beautiful person. Beauty to the Lord, in short means having perfect love and becoming like Christ. To be honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, charitable, long-suffering, patient, faithful, obedient. To be clean. To have integrity. To love the Lord, your fellowman, and yourself. Being beautiful is all about love!

The idea of beauty in our culture has nothing to do with love, but rather the "counterfeit of love", which is lust (A very wise man said this during a general conference talk in April, if I remember correctly). The world's idea of beauty is entirely physically and does not need love at all. One can be both beautiful to the world, and to God... but in the end, our true and eternal beauty is in our love.

I'm trying to be beautiful.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Recapturing Beauty Day 2.2. Something Brad said yesterday really got me thinking. Happiness makes people beautiful. He was bragging about how cute our munchkin is-- we do that A LOT-- and he said, "I think everyone thinks she is so cute because she smiles all the time. She's such a happy baby." I quickly agreed. Munchkin always looks the cutest and gets every mothers' and strangers' eyes drooling over her cuteness with her wide range of smiles. Then Brad had another genius insight-- "i think she's such a happy baby because she always sees us happy, and we always play with her and smile at her when we see her." It's true. We can't help but smile when she's with us. When she's eating, when she's grunting and trying to you-know-what, when she's sleeping, when she cuddles, when she plays, when she's getting a diaper change, when she's getting dressed, ... all the freakin' time. She lights up our days with those stormy blue eyes full of curiosity and happiness. I hope she stays this happy.

When I last searched the scriptures, I decided that beauty was love. But I'd like to add that happiness is also beauty. When you know that God loves you, and when you love yourself and those around you--> you are happy. Truly happy. And everyone is beautiful when they smile. "If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it!" I can't think of anyone, no matter what they look like, who isn't more beautiful when they smile.

I'm going to do everything I can to teach munchkin that she is a most precious daughter to me and Brad, and to her Heavenly Father. I'm going to start by loving myself. Believing that I AM BEAUTIFUL. I am going to BE BEAUTIFUL. and I'm going to teach her, show her, help her know and be BEAUTIFUL. I don't want her to grow up like I did, thinking i was ugly and worthless. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. and i'm going to remind her of that everyday.
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Genesis 29:17--Rachel, Daughter of Laban and soon to be 2nd wife to Jacob (later Israel) is compared to her sister Leah. "Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favored."

Exodus 28:2-- "And thou shalt make holy garments for Aaron thy brother for glory and beauty." The rest of the chapter goes on to explain with exactness how Aaron's garments should be made. Much of his dress is symbolic, to remind him of his covenants and the covenants of the children of Israel with the Lord. I think this means that those who keep their covenants bring glory to the Lord and are beautiful in His sight.

1 Samuel 16:7,12-- The Lord told the prophet Samuel to go to Jesse because He had appointed one of Jesse's sons to be the next king after Saul. When Samuel arrived, he saw the great stature of Eliab and thought--this must be him; he looks like a king-- "But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his counteance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." After looking at all of Jesse's children, the youngest, David, walks in from the fields after tending the sheep. "Now he [David] was ruddy, and withal of a beautiful countenance, and goodly to look to. And the Lord said, Arise, anoint him: for this is he."
How often do we judge people on something that they can't control-- like their height? complexion? hair? body shape? We all do it, but God has the power to look into our hearts, wishes, desires, etc, and to see the beauty that the eye is not always aware of, but it shines through in our spirit. David must have smelled bad and been covered in grime from tending the fields, but the light of his countenance-- from obedience to God's commandments and keeping his covenants-- shone though and he was beautiful and good to see despite not being perfectly groomed. Do what you should be doing-- your spirit will be beautiful, and when it matters, those who see you will see your beauty.

1 Chronicles 16:29 -- The people are giving sacrifices and praising the Lord. David writes a psalm of Thanksgiving, here's an excerpt (also quoted in Psalms 29:2): "Give unto the Lord the glory due unto His name: bring an offering, and come before Him: worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness." what stood out to me here was the phrase, "the beauty of holiness." Holiness is beauty unto the Lord. Engage in acts of charity and love; be obedient unto His commandments; fulfill your callings; be holy, and you are beautiful. How often are those who do these things mocked and ridiculed by the world? Made to feel like they are not beautiful because they sacrifice themselves to others? But these humble spirits are the most beautiful and precious to our Father in Heaven.

2 Chronicles 3:6-- Soloman is building the temple, "And he garnished the house with precious stones for beauty: and the gold was gold of Paravaim." The Lord's house was given precious stones, highly valuable, to make it beautiful. The temple is the sacred home of the Lord; sacrifice to get the best must be given to the Lord. It was made with valuable materials because it shows our respect for the Lord to sacrifice worldly goods for His name and bring Him glory. God knows that we, as men and women who live in the world, value things that are pleasing to the eye, and so we use materials that are valuable and beautiful to the eye, to bring people's eyes and minds toward Him.

Ezra 7:27--Ezra is the prophet, Artaxerxes is king of Persia. Artaxerxes provides materials to beautify the temple and Ezra pronounces, "Blessed be the Lord God of our fathers, which hath put such a thing as this in the king's heart, to beautify the house of the Lord which is in Jerusalem.

Esther 2:7-- "the maid was fair and beautiful;" Esther's beauty attracted the king to take her to wife, and she was able to serve her people, the Jews, and protect them against the king's right-hand man who issues a decree to kill the Jews.

Psalm 27:4-- written by David, the king. "One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple." What is the beauty of the Lord? I think it is His wisdom and mercy; to provide a Savior for His children in His great plan of salvation, a plan of happiness for His children. the beauty of the Lord in in His magnificent creations-- this Earth, the heavens, life, animals, and we- His spirit children.

Psalms 48:2-- "Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion," What is Zion? It is the pure in heart, the city of the Lord, anywhere that we build it. The pure in heart make it beautiful. The children of the Lord who live in such a way as to welcome the Lord in their presence make it beautiful. The presence of the spirit of the Lord makes it beautiful.
Psalms 50:2-- "Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, god hath shined." Zion is the perfection of beauty. The perfection of beauty if the perfection of ourselves-- to submit ourselves wholly to the Lord and His will. It makes me think on the celestial kingdom. The righteous will dwell with the Lord; it will be beauty at it's most beautiful.

Psalms 90:17-- prayer of Moses, "And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us:" Moses prayer that God will share His love, wisdom, and plan with His children, and it will help them to know their responsibility in the Lord's work.

Psalm 149:4-- "For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation." the Lord makes us beautiful. when we are meek, when we do our best and follow the Lord, He brings salvation to our souls. When we know, understand, and receive the Atonement, we are filled with happiness. and happy people are beautiful. salvation, and doing what we must to receive salvation makes us beautiful in the eyes of the Lord.

Proverbs 20:29-- "The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the gray head." Well, what is the beauty of young women and old women? I think it is the same for both the young and not-so-young-- in their virtue and charity, and in their capacity to be a loving mother (whether to your own children or others' children), grandmother, sister, friend, daughter, aunt, etc.

Proverbs 31:30-- "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Focusing ALL our time and energy on making ourselves physically attractive is vain, for with age, it seems to escape no matter what. Spend your time in worthy causes-- a little to make yourself feel well put-together and presentable in appropriate circumstances, and most of your time in doing your duty-- family, work, service, etc.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-- "He hath made everything beautiful in His time: also He hath set the eternal in their heart without which man cannot find out the work that God hath done." this comes after the well known "to everything there is a season..." verses. Beauty also has it's own season, and its season comes on the Lord's time.

Isaiah 4:2-- Speaking of the millenial day when Christ shall rule on the earth, "In that day shall the branch of the Lord be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the earth shall be excellent and comely for them that are escaped of Israel." Christ's people are frequently refered to as a symbolic branch; Christ's people will be beautiful and glorious when Christ rules the earth.

Isaiah 33:17-- "Thine eyes shall see the glory of the king in his beauty:" referring to Christ as the King during the Second Coming.

Isaiah 52:7-- "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!" I have often heard in Sunday school and seminary that this can refer to missionaries, and the beauty of sharing the gospel across all lands, even those that are rocky and dangerous, such as mountains.

Isaiah 53:2-- "For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, adn as a root out of dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall se him, there is no beauty that we should desire him." Isaiah was speaking Messianically, of how when Christ comes, we will not be persuaded to follow Him because He is physically attractive. He shall be humble and come from an unexpected place. But His message is beautiful. This can also be found in the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 14:2)

Isaiah 60:13-- "The glory of lebannon shall come unto thee, the fir tree, the pine tree, and the box together, to beautify the place of my sanctuary; and I will make the place of my feet glorious." Sometimes, Isaiah just don't make a whole lot of sense to me... This is supposed to be referring to the last days... yes, I need to study the OT, especially Isaiah, more.

Isaiah 61:3-- "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might becalled trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified." Again, Isaiah doesn't always make alot of sense to me. But what I get from this is... God blesses those that are going through difficult times in their life; He provides for the needs of those who are suffering loss. I know I've seen the Lord bless people in my life as they have lost loved ones this year. It hurts, but God is there every step of the way, and with His help we can still find beauty and thigns to be happy about when overwhelmingly sad things happen to us.

Matthew 23:27-- "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchers, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within filled with dead men's bones, and of all uncleanliness" Christ was rebuking the scribes and Pharisees for their hypocrisy. Beauty on theoutside can be deceiving; the important thing is that we are beautiful within our bodies and our spirit. Beauty is having integrity.

1 Nephi 11:8-- "And it came to pass that the Spirit said unto me: Look! And I looked and beheld a tree; and it was like unto the tree which my father had seen; and the beauty thereof was far beyond, yea, exceeding of all beauty; and the whiteness thereof did exceed the whiteness of the driven snow." Nephi is describing the vision of the tree of life. The tree was a representation of the love of God (see 1 Nephi 11:25). The love of God is a beauty beyond all other beauties in this world.

Doctrine & Covenants 42:40--"And again, thou shalt not be proud in thy heart; let all thy garments be plain, and their beauty the beauty of thine own hands;" I think this is saying that to be self-sufficient and hard-working is beautiful, but to be proud and lift yourself above others based on how you dress is not beautiful. Humility and hard work is beautiful.

Doctrine & Covenants 82:14-- "For Zion must increase in beauty, and in holiness; her boarders must be enlarged; her stakes must be strengthened; yea, verily, I say unto you, Zion must arise and put on her beautiful garments." God is telling His people that they must increase in beauty, in beauty to the Lord. Zion must become more holy, humble, obedient. Zion must have integrity and not full of hypocrisy. Zion must work hard. Zion must follow the commandments of the Lord and do His work.

Recapturing Beauty Day 1

Refrain from weighing yourself today and for the rest of the challenge.
with an additionat end for mon. oct 11, the real day 1 of the challenge.

Monday, October 4, 2010
Thanks to some great advice from a very smart woman, I've been personally challenging myself to refrain from weighing myself for a few weeks now. It definitely makes a difference in how I feel about myself. I'm not obsessing over a number on the scale, but rather, focusing on how my body feels. I'm not focusing on my pant size either because I've just come to understand that having a baby changes my body shape. I cant judge myself based on before my pregnancy, because my body has changed, and I would never take back having my precious munchkin.

Today was a real challenge to not get upset about my body shape and pant/skirt size. Tomorrow is a wedding, adn I was looking for a new skirt to wear. Time after time, I looked at the size tag and had to keep reminding myself-- it's just a number. It doesn't matter the number, but if it fits, it will look better than something with a smaller number. (thank you, What Not To Wear!). I hate shopping for clothes. It always finds a way to depress me about the way I look. But after every store, I just reminded myself-- I'm beautiful. I'm not going to let numbers determine how I feel about myself. It was TOUGH. But finally, at JC Penny's, I found a very pretty plum colored dress-- on the clearance rack-- it fit! And I love it! I'm so glad I persisted ad didn't give up and get depressed like I usually do. It was supposed to be a $90 dress, but it was 80% off. I paid less than $20! Talk about a good ego boost. Picture will be posted soon!

I'm beautiful. And so are you.

Monday, October 11, 2010
ok, so here's round two! Since i started a week early, i noticed day 5 and 6, and recognized that those are tougher challenges for me than some of the others. I've noticed that I constantly compare myself to other women-- and it's usually in a way that makes me think everyone else is prettier than me. i'm challenging myself to not do that the whole challenge, not just day 5 or 6, i don't remember which. i'm going to challenge myself to not only not compare myself to others, but when i find that i am, i need to replace those thoughts with something positive... any ideas what those positive things should be?

i am beautiful.

You Do the Hokey Pokey and You Turn Yourself Around

That's what it's all about.

Especially when you're a mommy. Man, I got turned around this week. The recapturing beauty challenge doesn't start til next monday... i started it this past monday. So I get to turn myself around and do it all over again starting monday. but i've love this. i'm enjoying the challenges, and i'm really feeling better about myself this week. thanks BYU Women's Services for this awesome oportunity.
Yesterday, I did something really strange. at least for me. I did the hokey pokey. in the middle of the library. out loud. and YES, I DID turn myself around. it all started while wakling to the library with munchkin. she was straped to me in the baby carrier, facing outwards. she was wearing a warm foot pajamas outfit, but her hands were really cold while outside. so i held her hands, but she didn't want me to hold them in one place. so i started moving them out and in, in and out. well, needless to say, I started singling the hocky pokey in my head, and before I knew what I was doing, I started singing out loud and turning myself around. we got into the library, and i didn't stop.
"you put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. you put your left hand in and you shake it all about. you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. that's what it's all about! yeah!"

i got the strangest looks. from the confused "what the hell is that woman doing?!?!" stare to the "awe, look at the mommy making a fool of her self" smile.

but you know what. since i started this recapturing beauty thing early, i've felt a desire to not just be beautiful for myself, but to teach my munchkin that she is beautiful. i don't want her to be like me and constantly doubting herself, her appearance, and her self worth. and that begins with me being a good mommy. a beautiful mommy. a confident mommy that isn't afraid to make herself look absolutely ridiculous doing the hokey pokey in the middle of the library, because she loves herself. if i can be confident and beautiful enough to do THAT yesterday, and today, and tomorrow... and all the other days, then as my munchkin grows up, she will know that she is beautiful, worthy, and amazing. that she can do all those crazy things, and at the end of the day, she is SO LOVED! by her mommy and daddy. by her Heavenly Father. by her friends and family, and everyone that matters.

i love my munchkin. she is beautiful. and i'm going to be her beautiful mommy.