This has been a rather busy weekend. Last weekend we got the sad news that Brad's uncle Mike passed away after a 21 month battle with leukemia. We just left the temple after doing sealings as we got the call from Brad's mom. The entire time in the temple, I was thinking to myself how great a blessing it is that my family is sealed together for eternity. I contemplated when I was sealed to my parents, and when Brad and I were married, and about how little Naomi and all her future siblings will be tied to us for eternity.
While at Uncle Mike's funeral, my thoughts turned back to my great grandma's funeral. I can't say that there was a big difference in how things were organized, but the difference I noticed was very spiritual. I remember much crying, sadness, grief, and even depression at my grandma's funeral. I remember people saying that they think she's in heaven and hope to see her again someday. She passed away after a long battle with cancer also; I think she was in her mid-70s or so in age. She led a full life and was loved by her family. We knew she was going to pass, but it didn't stop the overwhelming pain of her loss.
I felt something different at Uncle Mike's funeral-- and I don't know if it was just because it was Brad's family instead of my own, but amidst all the grief, there was still something ... happy?... in the feelings that were expressed. They were strengthened through the comfort of angels and family and friends. There were many tears, but there were still smiles that shined through. Uncle Mike was in his mid-50's (I think), and still had a young family. Uncle Mike's family had a knowledge and strong faith that their husband/father/brother was still with them. Even though death had taken him from his life on earth, they KNEW that he was still tied to them in a way that was stronger than death. He is missed, but not gone. Our Father in Heaven gave us families, and he gave us a way to stay tied to them. The Atonement of Christ, His Son, has made it possible for each of us to conquer death, return to our families, and live with God again.
I also thought about the days leading up to my grandma's and uncle mike's death. Before my grandma passed, I felt this positive energy. I kept thinking that it was because God had a miracle planned for her; that she would be healed despite all the doctor's opinions that she would be gone soon. I've heard from Uncle Mike's family that they felt the same thing as they received news that his lungs were dying and he didn't have much time. I suddenly realized something that I had been asking myself since my grandma died. I had been asking-- was my faith not strong enough to save her? give her the miracle that I knew Heavenly Father had waiting? Was I just crazy, fooling myself into thinking I felt comfort and positive energy at the close of my grandma's life???
no.
I finally realized, after a few years of growing up and looking at the same experience from a different angle, that the positive energy and hope that I felt was real. I wasn't crazy, and neither was uncle mike's family. That positive energy and hope was just the Lord's angels telling us that even though our loved one was leaving, that it would be okay. It was the Lord's plan all along, and He was there to comfort us each in our time of need. the good feelings were not a promise of the miracle of healing, but it was the miracle of being able to feel the Spirit of the Lord and have the comfort of His angels. The miracle of being able to communicate with our Father in Heaven, and to know His will, and to know that He loves us.
I know God loves me. And I know He loves my family, and Brad's family, and uncle Mike's family, and everyone. I know He wants us to be happy and He has a plan in place to make that happen. It doesn't mean that we won't feel grief and sadness in our lives, but we can survive it. We can live and grow and become better if we follow His plan. It's a miracle. In the midst of the sadness after uncle mike's passing and reliving the memories of my grandma's passing, I still feel hope and happiness. I share these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
